Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous

2008 "The Army Will Never Be The Same"
4.3| 1h40m| PG-13| en
Details

When fluffy, bubble gum movie star Megan Valentine suddenly finds herself broke and humiliated in the public eye, she wanders from the wreckage of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the U.S. Army hoping in vain that it will change her life.

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Reviews

Kattiera Nana I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.
Colibel Terrible acting, screenplay and direction.
StyleSk8r At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.
Ariella Broughton It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.
cwg2005a I am a big anti-Simpson fan. Can't stand her, can't stand her movies. But I was very pleasantly surprised at "Private Valentine," not because it was high art or cinematic gold, but simply because it was fun, heartfelt, and managed to pull on some (albeit trite) heartstrings. For example, when Olesya Rulin's "mousy" private speaks strongly to Vivica Fox's First Sergeant "Do I look like I want to cry to you?" it was a nice payoff.There are many complaints by service personnel that the hair is not to proper length, the training sequences are not as accurate as they could be, etc etc. Does any of this matter? Of course not: this is a MOVIE, meant purely for entertainment, and it succeeds on that level.Watch it, enjoy it. Unless you only enjoy obscure Eastern European art films, you will not regret the time spent here.
steel_indigo There is room for a movie like this and this one is not the only movie since "Private Benjamin" that has a topic like this. Jessica Simpson is good in light comedic movies. I'm sure she would like to do something serious but this appears to be her niche at the moment. I know people think she is dumb but in all actuality I think that was a publicity hype. I remember her way back when she still had weight problems and was first emerging into the singing arena. I saw her on interviews and she is anything but stupid. She was great in this movie. The addition of Ryan Sypek as a subtle romance interest was well done.I enjoyed this movie a lot. The military was a background but no rational adult would look for accuracy in this type of movie and especially since it was one that went straight to sales. I didn't find it but watched it on television and was highly entertained. If you just want something to pass the time with good scenes and comedic acting, watch this movie. It would never win awards but some of the movies made are purely for entertainment value and not to win awards and this is that kind of movie.
nya_m25 I don't quite understand why people get bent out of shape over this movie. If you go in thinking that it's going to be an accurate portrayal of the armed forces then you're just as dumb as you claim everyone in this movie to be. Come on people, it's a light hearted MOVIE. Last I checked in no way was this ever billed as anything other than what this movie is. I am neither here nor there on any of Jessica's career moves but she played this bubbly character well. Whether that may be her playing a role or just being herself, may I ask the naysayers, why in the world do you care enough to be upset? It was not your job or duty to watch this movie so the choice to even consider watching the movie was all personal choice. But yet she's stupid and you bash her for the choice you made. The bottom line is simple, if you dislike her, if you're a gungho armed forces member, if you're all out bitter and pessimistic about everything then don't watch the movie. Don't be mad at the movie or actors because you chose to sit through an hour and a half of something you probably didn't care for to begin with.
Blueghost I grabbed the DVD off of the local Blockbuster new release shelf. One shouldn't judge a book (or film) by the DVD cover, but I guess I'm a sucker for a hot-blonde in military uniform. I knew not to expect too much of it, and, well, that's kind of what the viewer got, but there was a bit more here than meets the eye.Years back when Goldie Hawn did Private Benjamin there was a lot of hype about the comic and comedic overtones of "Private Benjamin". But, it turned out to be a serious film with humor sprinkled in here and there. "Private Benjamin" was funny, but it wasn't light entertainment. It had some social commentary and other messages to convey to the audience. In this regard I was personally let down by "Private Benjamin", although I understand it as a quality film, and appreciate it as such."Private Valentine", on the other hand, is cut from a different cloth. It takes the Goldie Hawn film, removes the heavy undercurrent meat and replaces it with a light frothy soufflé. Jessica Simpson doesn't play the heavily laden woman nearing a conjuncture in her life, and is taken in by a more than slick military ad campaign. Simpson's character starts off as a lightweight star who wants to be taken seriously, but is not given the opportunity because of both the roles she's given, and the deeper reason of why she's given said roles. It takes Uncle Sam to turn her into "An army of one", so to speak. And a one-woman wrecking crew she becomes.Unlike Private Benjamin, the Cold War is over, so there's no "Red menace" and/or scare to play off of. The sexual tension in this film is kept light and romantic, as opposed to the expose on abuse that Hawn's film portrayed. In short, it's light entertainment. "Private Valentine" is meant to be nothing more than that.Having said this, and having a loose and tacit respect for this film, I do admit that it could have been executed better, particularly in the first act. The beginning of the film seems cobbled together, and not thoroughly vetted as it could have been. The whole movie seems to have been a bargain production, though not quite as low as a B-movie extravaganza. As such the exposition and staging are somewhat restrained.Jessica Simpson herself is actually quite good in this role. In fact, everyone does a good job, but I was particularly impressed with Simpson's acting ability, and this comment comes from a man who is not one of her fans. There was no heavy emoting to be doe here, but Simpson did show us a diverse set of acting abilities. If the directing had been tightened up a little, then this film, Simpson included, could have really shined and exceeded all expectations.As it stands now it's just light entertainment. Don't expect a remake of "Private Benjamin", because it really isn't. It takes the premise of that film, and, in a sense, turns it on its head to create something mildly enjoyable, and not overly wrought with social commentary, drama and character angst.Not a great film, but then it was never meant to be one. Just something to watch on a lazy Sunday afternoon. If you go in not expecting too much, then you should be okay with it. The only warning I'd give is that it's a proverbial chick-flick. So, to my fellow testosterone comrades, try not to be overly critical of it.Give it a shot.