Beystiman
It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.
Ava-Grace Willis
Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.
Logan
By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.
Sam Panico
I'm 2:25 into this movie and I'm already screaming at the TV in glee. A farmhouse, somewhere that feels like Canada, with a mother — who has hair that feels like the 80s — is making eggs and calling everyone to eat. Then, a scream, to which her husband replies with all the intensity of someone answering a telemarketer. He opens the stove to a skull faced demon and screams as his son watches.Cue the credits — it's time for Rock 'n Roll Nightmare!This film stars Jon Mikl Thor, who Wikipedia tells us is "the first Canadian to win both the Mr. Canada and Mr. USA titles. During his bodybuilding career, he has achieved over 40 titles around the world. As a musician, he is the front man for the heavy metal band Thor, billing himself as "The Legendary Rock Warrior."" Thor used to appear in the back pages of 80s metal mags like Hit Parader and Circus, but no one I knew had ever heard any of his albums. You may know him from this insane clip of him dancing and singing that the Found Footage Festival has uncovered:Let me further quote from Wikipedia: "Thor started the concept Thor in 1973. He combined strength feats, props, costumes and showmanship with music: his feats included bending solid steel bars in his teeth and having solid concrete blocks smashed off his chest with a sledgehammer." Seriously, Thor sounds like the greatest man who has ever lived. And his latest band is called Thor and the Ass Boys, so he has that going for him. Seriously, I do believe Thor himself descended from Asgard, down the Rainbow Bridge and used Mjolnir to write his very own Wiki page.Getting back to the movie, the credits sequence ranks among the longest and worst shot credits I've ever seen in my entire life. It's even worse than the credits in fellow Canadians Bob and Doug McKenzie's Mutants of 2051 A.D. It's shot after shot of pre-Go Pro footage of a camera racing along a dark house, as if we are to find some terror in the accouterments and candles and bric a brac.What follows next can only be described as fetishistic shots of a white custom van — complete with DUCKER license plate — as it grooves and grinds and rocks its way down the highways and byways of Canada, complete with the ever beefy Thor at the wheel. I'm writing this at 5 AM and my reality is always a bit skewed, but these shots go through more than one song, which is like a wrestling match lasting three commercial breaks. It just isn't done. If the director's intent was to show us how remote the farmhouse they're traveling to is, he succeeded with three and a half minutes of watching a white van slowly drive. I'm shocked we didn't get a slow motion scene of turn signals going on and off or break lights slowly being depressed. These are the moments in genre films where you wonder: am I watching an auteur or a complete hack…and do I even know the difference any longer?Read more at http://bit.ly/2hRkfPp
jessegehrig
Its an amazingly bad movie-that goes without question. I mean look at the insane cover-art. It begs the question "Why was this movie made?". Here's a curve-ball, The protagonist is named John Triton, but is played by actor John Mikal Thor, the fake name sounds more real than the actor's real name. I would describe this as a exhausted movie, in that it sort of stumbles along preoccupied with getting to that place where it can just lie down and sleep it off. I hope there is a documentary film about how this movie got made and why this movie got made because I imagine it would be like the doc Heart Of Darkness is for Apocalypse Now. Watching this movie initiates you into the sacred order of Rock'n'roll, yeah!
udar55
John Triton (Jon Mikl Thor, who also scripted) and his band Triton rent a secluded farm house that has a 24 track recording studio built in the barn so the group can prepare for a tour and get down ten minutes of new material. What they don't know is that this place just happens to be a portal to hell and soon folks are getting offed faster that Eddie Van Halen's fingers on the guitar. BLACK ROSES director John Fasano proved himself heavy metal horror ready with this debut feature. Well, he proved he could make a film in focus and throw a few monsters around. This starts out as a standard horror yarn but takes a decidedly odd twist at the end. The film is pretty rough around the edges (I had to listen to the audio commentary to figure out what the final two scenes were about), but if you have an itch for big hair and Beelzebub, it will fit the bill. The film appears to have some sort of cult following, most likely due to hipsters digging the totally 80s look and the toned Thor, who really is the poster boy for 80s muscle bound metal.
ultra_tippergore
If you don't take this movie as the new "Psycho" or "Rosemarie Baby" you can have a good time watching "Rock n roll nightmare". This is one of those movies that achieve cult-status as "So bad that are funny" like the infamous and great "Troll 2". The rocker Thor is the lead here. The plot is about a rockn roll band in some house that are attacked one by one by demons. This demons are very cheap and stupid-looking puppets. The bad thing in this one is that most of the killings are off-screen and there isn't enough nudity. Not the perfect party movie IMHO but a good one to have a laugh with friends and lots of booze.6/10
