Boobirt Stylish but barely mediocre overall

CommentsXp Best movie ever!

Limerculer A waste of 90 minutes of my life

Aneesa Wardle The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

martin-randle Firstly look at that poster... see that scary monster on the front with those massive teeth? Yeah? Not in the movie!There are monsters, some the size of dinosaurs and one more like Godzilla in proportions, but they are all the same species, a sort of short tailed 6 eyed bull like reptile. The big one is the same CGI model but scaled up.The acting / dialogue is stilted and funny. It has a delightful amateur- dramatics quality to it. And the guy playing the general is hamming it up to Monty Python standards. Nothing about this is remotely believable but as another reviewer noted, the floaty castle is quite nice. Though powered by a fire that looked barely strong enough to toast marshmallows on. The CGI - is very bad, very 90s. Probably someone with a copy of some 3D software offered to do it for free. The worst is the whip effects of the beanstalk. Anyway I highly recommend you don't waste money on this - if you can watch it for free and make a drinking game or something silly out of it then you may have a better evening than I did.

Maria Fahlsing This movie is yet another piece of cinematic garbage brought to you by none other than The Asylum, whose work is always lackluster, heavily dependent upon lame CGI special effects, and badly acted. Just imagine that the British TV series Primeval had a swingers party with Real Steel, Howl's Moving Castle, Benny Hill, and a WWII farce set in Britain. The plot is very loosely based on Jack and the Beanstalk and largely nonsensical. The acting is atrocious despite there being two or three recognizable, moderately big-name British actors in the cast. I stopped actively watching the film about 10 minutes in and just listened to it until an action scene came along, then I watched until that scene was over. If you have other things to do, you won't really miss any plot points (ha, what plot?) by not paying full or even half attention to the movie.Trust me, do not waste your time on this. You will not regret skipping it.

lxmerrifield I have to say what in the world where they thinking when they made this movie? i really don't know i mean i have never seen such awful garbage in my entire life, this movie is so pointless i just can't believe it it's like they had a budget of 10 dollars (yes I am exaggerating but I am sure if you've seen this you will agree.)well if you have seen this i feel bad for you and yes i feel bad for me the only reason i watched it was that I thought I was watching Jack The Giant Sayer which was loads better than this one so if you had some kind of misfortune and you ended up watching this then you should know just how awful it is and this wouldn't have made a difference even if i was drunk

Parody Reviews What a sad state of affairs when Asylum (the makers of this sad little tale) throws out garbage like this with a cast of people who aren't even trained in the art of acting. Wow, they must have taken the directors wife and kid hostage to make him do it. One consolation, this film of inferior quality should only have taken a couple of weeks to throw together so no real harm done.The story starts of with some Real Steal rip off material as Jack is fixing his robot (I know, lol...I don't remember Aliens style robots in any other version of Jack...Beanstalk before!) while struggling to say his lines and use his hands at the same time. lol yes, I remembered a classic bit of acting when we first see the ridiculous beanstalk in a field. There is a cop standing there with a very small crowd of people and he's right in front of them saying "nothing to see here, move along", I was like WTF! Nothing to see? Also the way he was holding this crowd of 4 people back was stupid. They are in a field and can stand anywhere but chose to all squeeze in front of the only cop there. Another thing is, when Jack gets nabbed by the tree branch thing and gets taken up in front of everyone. Not one person seems to notice it happening!! Garbage, garbage, garbage.I don't do the "this is the worst film ever" speech because it's cliché and rarely true. I have to say though, it's damn close. The acting is atrocious, the editing looks like it was done by a crack addict badly needing a fix and the music, the mf'king music! Where in the hell did they dig it up from? It sounded a bit like those,(I'm not too sure of the name) Stylaphone? Is that the thing Rolf Harris used to advertise? Well, it sounded like that.Not a film to be watched, even if your bored, drunk, high, low...in fact...just don't watch it. I did and I'm still queasy.