Lovesusti The Worst Film Ever

AnhartLinkin This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

Casey Duggan It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

Erica Derrick By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Leofwine_draca Imagine a straightforward, linear film cut down into little pieces, jumbled together like a jigsaw and re-assembled randomly. The resulting movie would then be called WHITE FIRE, one of the daftest films I've watched in recent months. One thing to do when watching this film is to ignore the plot, which is just headache-inducing scenes of stupidity and randomness involving a shining white diamond in a mine. The only thing to do is sit back and enjoy the endless low-rent action scenes which fill the movie, the silly scripting, sometimes inaudible dialogue and poor acting from the majority of the cast. One thing that helps explain the lack of coherence is the multi-national aspect of the production; not only did French director Jean-Marie Pallardy drag some of his French cast and crew to Turkey to shoot this movie, but somehow the UK (!) and Italy were also involved in the financing. The result is an unsatisfying but mildly diverting action odyssey with lots of craziness to recommend it.The action mainly consists of guys in silly suits with large guns running around a quarry and shooting each other, getting blown up occasionally. The finale of the film is a explosive expert's dream as hero Robert Ginty (complete with an unbecoming moustache) runs around lobbing sticks of dynamite at people. Watch in amazement as stuntman after stuntman is blown through the air by an exploding bomb - I guess health and safety measures are cheap in Turkey. Production-wise, the sound quality is poor and the camera-work static and uninteresting, and the poor editing rounds things out to a disappointing whole. The Istanbul scenery is picturesque in places but could have been utilised to a far greater effect.WHITE FIRE seems to be on a crusade of containing as many different deaths as possible for the extras - no two are alike. Things begin with a guy being burnt alive with a flamethrower, then move on to a thief being electrocuted, a guy cut into pieces with a band saw, and a man's face being melted on a burning crystal (?). Women are shot in the head with blow darts and in the film's cheesy but grim highlight, Robert Ginty lets rip with a chainsaw on the docks and slices up a few of the enemy. Sadly, the UK pre-cert of this film which I watched cut out all of the gore effects in the film, which are by all accounts cheesy and unrealistic anyway. The film is instantly dated with an annoying pop song which plays throughout, detracting from the entertainment value further.For such a bad film, it's surprising at how many familiar exploitation faces are present and correct. It seems everyone travelled out to Turkey in 1984 to appear in this film. First up is Robert Ginty, plodding woodenly through his part as the tired have-a-go-hero; I kind of wish his role wasn't so physical in this movie, because the punches he throws are really fake. The female lead is played by Belinda Mayne, who has a bizarre incestuous relationship with her brother Ginty, and who spends most of her scenes either walking around or showering in gratuitous nude scenes. Pallardy regular Jess Hahn pops up as an aged aide of Ginty's whilst US action star Fred Williamson has a very minor and unmemorable part as a bounty hunter. Finally we get Gordon Mitchell playing another nondescript bad guy in a large red suit who gets gunned down by our hero at the finale. Only sado-masochists may get a kick out of this absurd, largely incoherent, movie.

lost-in-limbo Wow.. Yep wow. "White Fire" is one of those films you got to see to believe. That's action fans. Of schlock and exploitation. Well maybe if you got a thing for Robert Ginty… and throw in Fred "Hammer" Williamson. And some gnarly chainsaw carnage. Don't hesitate, check it out. The film is just so outrageous (although not rousing), but more so reckless and incomprehensible. Just figuring out what's going it just as bemusing as trying to understand the unusually repressed relationship between brother (Ginty) and sister (Belinda Mayne). It is strange. Like numerous touchy-feely encounters and awkward dialogues ("A pity you're my sister" while staring at her nude body and she doesn't seem to realise she's fully naked by only covering her breasts), which will have you returning back to scenes to make sure you heard it right. Nonetheless the entire script is clumsy. Acting is stiff (Mirella Banti gets top prize followed by Gordon Mitchell) and terrible dubbing also helps. After a pointless beginning; I guess to show why this brother and sister were so close suddenly moves into present time 20 years later where siblings Beau Donnelly and Ingrid are adventurous diamond thieves. Ingrid is working in a desert diamond mind smuggling the goods with the help of her brother and the base's security commander. When they come across that of the white diamond they see it as their final heist to get out of the business. But it won't be that easy, as there are other people who are keen on getting their hands on the diamond. I find Ginty rather agreeable in the lead role, where he has that expression you're never too sure what he is actually thinking. Great poker face. And he does hand out some beatings. While Mayne was somewhat wooden, you can see why she got the tick of approval. Then there's bad-ass Williamson, who really doesn't show up until an hour in with his pals (this gang really does like to show off their chest hair) and his energy really does get things moving. Like his first appearance ("I detest psychical violence"). Too bad about the cheery ending though, as I hoping to see Ginty and Williamson come to blows. It actually takes awhile before we come face-to-face with the legendary white fire diamond which burns whoever touches it. Williamson's smooth-talking trouble- shooter character has nothing to do with this side of the story, but more so with film's midway twist that only seems to make the brother- sister relationship even creepier. Watch how Ginty dramatically fights his desires for his sister (?). It cuts him deep. There's a lot going on and characters coming and going. Not complex, but messy and patchwork that it's hard to make sense of it. But some might call that intrigue with soapy elements. But the siblings sure knew how to find trouble. I say it was simply written on the spot. It was just too random. Now the action was staged like if an opera singer was preparing for a big solo. Low-grade, but frenetic and plentiful with some touches of tacky gore with it cuing in marital arts sound effects and one very torturous encounter that will have men feeling squeamish. Plus it's probably got one of the slowest vehicle chases ever caught on tape. Flabby direction with some makeshift, mundane camera-work. It's cheap, inept and it shows. The tripped-out soundtrack is a real winner too. You get an amazing title song that finds it way on a loop. Rough around the edges, but this feverish b-grade drive-in outing has no pretensions, so try keeping a straight face. "Remember take good care of my sister".

Vomitron_G Wooooweeee! What the hell was this? A lot of gory and messy killings together with full frontal female nudity in a movie that is disguised as nothing more than a very bad B-action flick featuring a radioactive white diamond, but it's actually is a "moving" story about a brother's repressed sexual feelings towards his sister...????? A movie like this only comes around once every decade (unless we're talking about the 70's and the 80's). Fred Williamson was a hoot again! I love that man. Robert Ginty just showed us that he's actually not that good of an actor after all. There's images on a security monitor of mining workers that actually seem to be coming from an invisible camera operated by a ghostly, unseen cameraman? By this, I mean that the alleged surveillance camera images are shot from impossible angles. This movie also provides the one and only solution to having sex with your own sister without actually performing an act of incest. And the quickest way to get into a girl's pants and make her fall in love with you while at it is.... by giving her a survival training!?!? You'd think this movie is unbelievable? It is! Until you've seen it. One of the most nonsensical action drivel I've come across in a long time. Whatever you do, watch the uncut version, or don't watch it at all, because you'll be missing out on some good stuff, I'm sure.

thecaptain_uk Absolutely fantastic trash....this one has it all: nudity, good fight scenes, gore, action, explosions etc. It also stars the wonderful Belinda Mayne as Ingrid - not Olga as the other reviewer pointed out - although Olga turns into Ingrid later on in the film (you'll have to watch it to see what I mean).I won't bother to go into the story as it's far too long winded and not very interesting. The relationship between Ingrid and her brother Bo (Robert Ginty) is interesting - watch the towel stealing scene to see what I mean.The fight scenes were at once quite good and then spoilt by some really shoddy gore effects that looked like they were done by the team who did City of the Walking Dead (i.e. strange coloured blood gushing out of neck wounds).I'd advise fans of low budget trash to check it out if they can track down a copy - its pretty rare though and I couldn't ever see anyone bothering to re-release it so it'll become all the rarer in a few years.Anyway I'd recommend it solely for Belinda Mayne's great nude scenes! That lady's a fox!