Christopher T. Chase
There are probably not a whole lot of horror fans who would disagree with me on this, but I think it's been proved beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the only filmmaker who is a master of adapting Clive Barker for the big or small screen IS Clive Barker. HELLRAISER. LORD OF ILLUSIONS. Even the sketchy but still fine movie version of NIGHTBREED. Case closed.Well, not quite. I find myself in the minority (no pun intended) when I express my total disappointment at the grand mess that is the MOH episode, "Haeckel's Tale." John McNaughton is a really good director, but that episode pointed out all the reasons why Clive should've been asked to join the series to lend it some real chops in the directorial department, (unless he was asked and politely refused.) VALERIE ON THE STAIRS comes a little bit closer to the essence of Barker's style, but I think it would've kicked major ass with an assist from its original author. As is, it's entertaining at the very least, and lands squarely in that gray area most of the MOH episodes occupy...It doesn't exactly rock, but it doesn't suck major ass, either.For most horror fans, VALERIE is not going to make a whole lot of sense, but we writers out here will "get it" almost immediately. It explores Barker's favorite topics - sex and death, love and loss, and blurring the lines between Heaven and Hell, fantasy and reality.Struggling writer Rob Hanisey (Tyron Leitso) moves into Heidelberg (sp?) House, a dilapidated and very unusual collective retreat for unpublished writers. Remaining unpublished is the only condition the writers must meet while staying there, rent-free. Once your "great American novel" sees the light of day, your ass is out on the street. (Talk about a reversal of fortune!)Of course, Rob's not even unpacked yet when he starts to hear the strange noises and experiencing all the weird things essential to old buildings in horror movies. Then comes a new twist...the sounds of a young woman's moaning and sobbing in the hallway outside his room...even though there's nobody there. That is, until he finally meets her - a sad and scared, beautiful damsel-in-distress named Valerie (Clare Grant), being stalked through the building by a mysterious Beast (Tony Todd) who always yanks her away into Somewhere Else, just as Rob is getting to know her...and become obsessed with her.It doesn't sit well with Rob that in a strange house of looney writers that include veteran failure Everett Neely (Christopher Lloyd), angry, cynical lesbian Patricia Dunbar (Suki Kaiser) and hopped-up headcase Bruce Sweetland (Jonathan Watton), he's quickly being considered as King Nutjob. But he's pretty sure that there's more to Heidelberg House - and to Valerie - than his new neighbors are willing to tell him, and as it turns out (doesn't it always?) he's right.There's a lot of elements of Barker's other, better work mixed up in this story, but it really helps that the cast pulls it off believably. Lloyd, known mostly for playing extremely manic characters, dials it back a bit here, which is a welcome change. Todd, who I love to see in anything, is just about unrecognizable here as the demon, and though he's not given nearly enough to do, he does what he's best at...being menacing and ripping people apart. The other performers range from good to adequate, which is enough, I guess, to get this episode by.I get the feeling that Mick Garris didn't really bring his A-game to this one, because it showed off his "AMAZING STORIES" roots a lot more than usual. In fact, it could've been an episode of that very uneven series as well...if you took out the nudity, sex and gore, of course.VALERIE'S greatest sin is not just in the execution, though, but in the material itself. Only a certain niche of the audience will ever understand what the episode is really about (especially the very abstract, metaphorical ending), and you can never be successful adapting a story that only a third of your audience will get into. Hence the impression that Garris didn't seem all that invested in it when he was writing the script or directing it.Overall, I liked VALERIE where I know a lot of other people are going to despise it. The better judgment call with this one, would've been to have Clive step in and do it, or to just leave it the hell alone entirely.Still not the worst episode this season, but far from being the best. THAT is what I'm still waiting for.
Paul Andrews
Masters of Horror: Valerie on the Stairs starts as wannabe author Rob Hainsey (Tyron Leitso) pitches up outside Highberger House, a place for unpublished authors to stay & write. Rob is welcomed by the owner Nancy Bloom (Nicola Lipman) & is given a small room from which he can work in peace, however things turn creepy very quickly. At first there is constant loud knocking on Ray's door but when he answers it no-one is to be seen anywhere until he finally sees a young woman named Valerie (Clare Grant) sitting on the top of a flight of stairs but as Ray approaches her she disappears into the shadows & behind a brick wall. After several more encounters with the mysterious Valerie Ray becomes convinced that she is a ghost, however things aren't quite that simple...This Canadian American co-production was episode 8 from season 2 of Masters of Horror, written & directed by Mick Garris who is also the shows permanent executive producer I quite liked Valerie on the Stairs although it's not the best episode I've seen. The script was apparently based on a short story by Clive Barker (why hasn't he made a Masters of Horror episode yet & while I'm thinking about it where's David Cronenberg's entry?) & starts out as a fairly effective ghost story but turns into something else completely by the end, in typical Barker style it turns into a story about twisted imagination, demons & torture. I have to mention the strange ending which literally comes from nowhere, I have to say I really liked it although I have to admit I didn't really understand it or what it represented but what the hell it just looked cool & felt right somehow. At less than an hour it moves along at a great pace so becoming bored shouldn't be a problem & it manages to sustain it's stories change in direction pretty well. On the negative said the ending felt rushed & the demon guy dies too easily.Director Garris does a good job & there's a nice bleak atmosphere running through Valerie on the Stairs, there's not much colour to it & Garris like to place his camera at the foot of narrow stairs looking up or at the end of a long cramped corridor which gives a nice claustrophobic feel. As a a whole this episode of Masters of Horror reminds of the film I, Madman (1989) which has a similar theme & basic idea. There's some nice gore as usual, someone has their spine ripped out through their mouth, someone has their breasts slashed open with a fountain of spurting blood the result & someone has a chunk bitten out of their neck. The special effects are top notch as always & the demon guy looks impressive.Techncially it's well made with good production values & to it's credit it doesn't look like a cheap TV show. The acting is pretty good, the 'name' actor in this episode is Christopher Lloyd who puts in a good shift, Tony Todd also makes a appearance under layers of latex so you may not recognise him straight away.Valerie on the Stairs is a decent Masters of Horror episode, it's not the best one I've seen but it's far from the worst. I reckon it's worth a watch but I think most self respecting horror fans will anyway regardless of what anyone says.
preppy-3
Rob Hadisey (Tyron Leitso) is an unsuccessful writer who moves into a hotel full of them. No rent--but once you get something published you're out (???). He finds out the previous tenant of his room committed suicide. Then he starts hearing knocks on his door and seeing a beautiful woman named Valerie (Clare Grant) pleading for his help. Can you see where this is going? Utterly predictable and boring entry in the "Masters of Horror" series. I knew what was going to happen every step of the way. It all leads up to a real silly ending.There is some nice production design (the hotel looks suitably creepy) and there is some good acting by Leitso, Grant, Jonathan Witton and Christopher Lloyd (chewing the scenery). Also nice to see Tony Todd again. Still, an atmospheric setting, a few nice gory murders and some good acting can't help a story that is so predictable. Another negative point is throwing in totally unnecessary nude scenes for Grant. They could have been done with her clothed. Very poor entry. Not recommended.
lethalson
I am giving this a 5 because it's not so bad on it's own, but because I compare it to other MOH episodes--and that is-- it doesn't stack up too well against them. If you look at the resume of Mick Garris there isn't too much horror, and it shows. Much too tame-- would have been better as an amazing story. It seemed to be hurt by trying to be both horror and comedy. The most disappointing part was the beast. Very B movie effects. The beast in Wishmaster was much cooler looking. And using Tony Todd, aka Candyman was just cheesy. Maybe someone should update Rawhead Rex. That is a Clive Barker story I would like to see with better effects...
