SpunkySelfTwitter
It’s an especially fun movie from a director and cast who are clearly having a good time allowing themselves to let loose.
Hayden Kane
There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes
Janae Milner
Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.
Scott LeBrun
"The Nail Gun Massacre" is damn entertaining, a deliberately cheesy and comical backwoods slasher flick that writer / co-director Terry Lofton was wise not to take seriously. It's got plenty of gore, sex, nudity, one-liners, filler, and silliness, enough to make it a real hoot, although it does drag at times. It does hit the ground running, in any event. As Joe Bob Briggs would say, it's just about the greatest movie to come out of Seagoville, Texas.A burly, bearded Sheriff (Ron Queen) and a town doctor (Rocky Patterson) who favours muscle shirts and jean jackets have a problem on their hands: some person, possibly male, possibly female, who wears camouflage gear and a bikers' helmet, is going around murdering people with their handy-dandy nail gun. And this person *always* has a witticism for every occasion, uttering their lines in a synthesized Darth Vader type voice and laughing maniacally in the time honoured tradition of film villains. Could this murder spree have something to do with the gang rape that goes down in the opening minutes of the movie?This is good - well, maybe not "good" - and goofy fun with some deliciously sadistic kills. One poor guy gets a nail right through his crotch; an unlucky hitchhiker gets nailed to the highway. Our killer even takes the time to target people who are having sex, just like any good horror movie madman ought to do. There is much to laugh at here, and certainly it's not all intentional. The highlight has to be when a victim is nailed and falls on top of his barbecue grill - but even in his death throes, is able to carefully prevent the grill from toppling over. There are some attractive ladies in the cast, and the performances are amusing overall, especially from the deadpan Queen as the Sheriff.The pacing isn't always great; some scenes go on too long, but in the end "The Nail Gun Massacre" emerges as a funny piece of work that aficionados of 1980s horror are advised to seek out.Seven out of 10.
manchester_england2004
If you're looking for a proper horror movie, skip this one keep on looking. If however, you're a fan of the so-called "so bad it's good" movies, keep on reading.I've seen lots of the so-called "so bad it's good" movies, including the notorious TROLL 2. I can say without reservation that THE NAIL GUN MASSACRE is at the top of the pile and far surpasses many slasher movies intended to be taken seriously. It is also cheaper than virtually every other movie made. It makes most B-movies look like high-budget Hollywood classics. The chances are that the spare change in your wallet probably amounts to more than the budget of this movie! This is very typical slasher fare with a very simple plot - a woman is raped by a group of construction workers. Soon after, a wave of killings by an unknown assailant armed with a nail gun begin. A doctor and a sheriff try to catch the said assailant.This grade Z movie truly is a classic of unintentional humour. All the way down from the killer's incredibly funny one-liners to a woman screaming non-stop for several minutes (this gag later being used in NUTBAG) to the sheriff's mysterious badge (which just happens to move from one side of his shirt to another between shots!) to random moronic characters showing up out of nowhere just to be killed to the cheesy special effects (the nails are actually real and not rubber as some other commenters have stated), this is truly a tremendous piece of work. It is almost certainly guaranteed to please any trash movie lover and leave you with the feeling that maybe TROLL 2 was quite competently made after all! The killer in this movie is seemingly deliberately made as ridiculous as possible. He wears a camouflage jumpsuit with a yellow oxygen tank on his back, a motorcycle helmet held together with duck tape, carries a nail gun attached to the oxygen tank by a piece of curly telephone wire, drives around in a gold hearse and speaks in a modified robotic-style voice similar to Darth Vader! I'm not making this up, seriously! His height and build also changes through the course of the movie because the director hired two stunt doubles, one of which happens to be female! A massive number of victims (about 15) get killed by the unknown assailant. The murders themselves are also ridiculously executed. People literally die even though they've only had nails fired into their arms or legs. I think you get the idea. Tons of random people show up just for the purpose of being killed and only a few main characters exist. Almost every scene seems to contain a completely different set of people compared to the previous.And the rape scene! How can I describe it? It has to be the lamest rape scene committed to film. This is no I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE, so don't panic and assume you'll see anything particularly upsetting or disturbing. All you get to see is a fully clothed woman crying her eyes out for a few seconds as a few burly construction workers molest her and the scene ends quickly with seemingly 20 or so construction workers there to join in the fun. Priceless comedy.Also contained within the movie is a very funny outdoor sex scene which the director famously describes as being as close to the real thing as possible. This scene, along with all the random gratuitous topless nudity shown throughout, was added to please the distributors. The sex scene is without doubt one of the funniest you'll ever see.The movie's low rating is probably due to an inaccuracy of marketing on the part of the distributors. This should have been marketed as a comedy. If so, it would have enjoyed the popularity of spoofs such as SHAUN OF THE DEAD. Instead, the distributors decided to market it as a typical 80s slasher in the same vain as such movies as THE TOOLBOX MURDERS, BODY COUNT, THE HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW, MY BLOODY VALENTINE and so on. This was an obvious attempt to cash-in on the slasher boom at the time. Unfortunately, it didn't work and the movie drifted into obscurity until the eventual DVD release in 2005. The said DVD contains a documentary in which the director talks about the movie and tries to explain away some of its shortcomings. It too is a must see for fans of this movie.All in all an absolute must-see for all fans of the "so bad it's good" movie genre.
BA_Harrison
Power-tools and tits: a classic combination of horror movie ingredients that, as far as I'm concerned, almost always guarantees a good time (I know, I know... I'm easily pleased). However, there are always exceptions to prove the rule, and, despite plenty of bare breasts and much DIY-appliance based violence, The Nail Gun Massacre bored the hell out of me.Ineptly directed, poorly scripted and badly acted, this dreadful slasher-style effort sees a mysterious killer seeking revenge for a gang rape by using the titular tool to commit a series of murders. Looking laughable, rather than menacing, in a fetching camouflage jumpsuit and black motor-cycle helmet, our maniac somehow manages to stalk their prey unseen, before blasting them with a volley of nails. And for some inexplicable reason, the psycho also opts to talk in a strange, electronically modified Darth Vader style voice, making them seem even more absurd.The cast recite their awful dialogue displaying zero acting ability, whilst co-directors Terry Lofton and Bill Leslie display a complete lack of skill behind the camera. Throw in some unconvincing and rather weak gore (let's face it, nails don't make a lot of mess: small puncture wounds with a trickle of blood), and what you have is an amateurish production that completely fails to capitalise on its sensational title.
alexluprete
I believe it was but a young Steven Hawkings who once said "As I watched perfection and tried tirelessly to describe it's gleaming magnificence, 'twas four words that came to mind, "The Texas Nailgun Massacre...or perhaps it was "Dude, look at those titties!" Which doesn't make any real sense because that's actually five words, and Steven Hawkings can't actually speak. Regardless, it is fair to say as one who hasn't actually seen this movie and is only commenting on other comments, supposedly there is fare amount of "breasts" in this movie. That being said, I am now intrigued by these so-called "breasts." "Breasts" what a concept, bet you can't say it five-times fast? Damn, you can! Anyways, "Breast," if you rearrange the letters in the word "Breasts" you get "Streabs," which sounds a bit European to me, and I don't know about you but this is America! Home of the good ole' Red, White and Blue, where cars are made out of steel and might was built on coal and iron. Where that good ole' American spirit hangs in the air, and we all rally around that one ideal that makes us better than every other country in the world "Fuck Soccer!" But i'm getting off track, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, "breasts", I would say tits, which is much cooler, but for some reason people find that offensive, and since I can't say tits I refuse to discuss the matter any further. Besides the fact that all I know about this movie is that it is called "The Texas Nailgun Massacre," there is not a single word in the English language to describe something as obviously amazing and awe-inspiring as this film. I thought of one but I don't think "splendiferous" is a word. Anywho, if you are lucky enough to run across "The Texas Nailgun Massacre" in your local video store (which you won't) I highly suggest you keep walking, because only those with hearts as pure as snow and strength as mighty as the wind blows can handle what lies in front of you on that movie store shelf..."Critters 3." But right next to that is a movie...I'm sorry, let me rephrase that, a revolution that is "The Texas Nailgun Massacre." (However since it is next to Critters 3, I bet you'll pick up both covers and compare the pictures on the boxes for awhile before you skip over both and rent "The Truth about Cats and Dogs," which is much cuter I think.)
