School for Seduction

2004
5.1| 1h44m| en
Details

An Italian temptress arrives at a school in Newcastle to teach a group of Geordies about the art of romance.

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Reviews

AniInterview Sorry, this movie sucks
Mjeteconer Just perfect...
UnowPriceless hyped garbage
SanEat A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."
Michael Ledo This is a movie for women. If you are expecting a teenage sex comedy romp with gratuitous nudity, this is not your film.Kelly Brook sporting a bad Italian accent-yes? comes to Newcastle and opens up a school for seduction. It is in part a confidence school for the women, who try what they learn in class at home, but without the kind of results that they hoped for. The results border on comedy and tragedy as the women come to terms that the problems in their life have nothing to do with their ability to seduce. For the guys you might want to check out Kelly Brook stroking a broom handle. There is no full frontal female nudity, just male from behind nudity.The frequent use of boring Italian music soundtrack was too much to endure. The movie is not hilarious or brilliant. The cockney accents were so thick, that at times I had difficulty understanding the dialogue, for what it was worth. Gals, do your guy a favor and don't make him watch this movie as all men are stupid and self-centered (so what else is new?).
nzpedals I don't remember laughing so much at any film! There are just so many good scenes, with great acting, moments of silence, surprised looks and just funny, funny.Most of that comes from the great writing, but all the actors have to do their stuff too, and they do, even the males who mostly are made out to be total idiots, and up themselves.It starts out in Italy where a bunch of girls are being taught, one of them is Sophia, (Kelly Brook) who promptly walks out on her stupid husband and heads back to Newcastle, England, where she was brought up and went to school.She sets up similar school, to teach woman to be themselves, and gets some really interesting clients, mostly women whose partners don't seem to appreciate them. It helps the film that all the women are stunningly beautiful, and the guys are also quite good looking.Emily Woof, Dervla Kirwan are great, and Tim Healy as a middle-aged guy and his wife give a different, and funny, slant on proceedings. Ben Porter is Toni, a drag queen. This guy has real talent, his song and dance scene is so good I'd love to see more!Nearly a ten rating, but the last few minutes get a bit too serious.
lastliberal Every once in a while, I like to sit back and watch a "chick flick." Writer/Director Sue Heel's first effort was mostly enjoyable as a time passer, but there is nothing special to recommend it.Kelly Brook (House of 9) was exquisite as the Italian beauty the opened up a school for charm and seduction for ordinary London housewives. I assume it was London, but what do I know. I am still trying to figure out what a "chippy" is. She was far less believable as her secret is revealed in the third act.It was a funny story of men/woman problems, and how a little conversation would serve us all well in our relationships.I am still trying to figure out why this got an "R" rating. Did I fall asleep?
mediaskills In 'School for Seduction' I was hoping for a northern British comedy in the mould of 'Billy Elliot' or 'The Full Monty' ... or a lesser known gem such as 'The Bare Necessities' (1996). To be fair, the film does have some well-observed moments which could make good sketches in a female-viewpoint TV comedy show such as 'Smack the Pony'. However, as a full-length feature this movie is awful. The men are one-dimensional stereotypes straight from central casting whilst the women fare little better. The real-life Tyneside women I know are, without exception, stronger, wittier and a damn sight sexier than any of the cut-outs portrayed here. The cast do their best to inject some life into the lines they're given but as each character plods her way through an entirely predictable plot line it is difficult to sustain interest. Add a plot twist which is, in the true sense of the word, incredible and the production sinks without trace. For sisterhood solidarity movies give me 'Real Women Have Curves' or 'Beauty Shop'; for Northern British comedy give me 'Brassed off' or 'Blow Dry'. 'School for Seduction' - it just sucks.

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