Cubussoli
Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!
Brendon Jones
It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.
dncorp
Should have been Everybody that ever lived on Earth is Resurrected naked and virgins incapable of procreating on the shores of a River. They have a metal container attached to them named a Grail, only the owner can open the "Grail".Large flashes of what appeared to be lighting strikes at only one location are seen, the Resurrected go to investigate, there they discovered a mushroom shaped "Grailstone". Using the Grails, the person that opened the Grail had food that was familiar to them (not like in the TV Series Pilot, baby food), and many other items bits of cloth, cigarettes, narcotic gum. Three times a day (breakfast, lunch, supper) the flashes occur coming from the Mushroom shaped Grailstones after the Grail Owners place their Grails on top of the mushroom shaped Grailstones. Rarely a "Open by Anybody" Grail appears on top of the Grailstones.Language was the biggest barrier, there was no Universal Translator (like in the TV Series and Movie), everybody learns Esperanto.Explorer Richard Burton wakes up naked on the Shore of the River. Being an Explorer he starts to travel, he gets killed and ends up further down stream hundreds of Miles away from where he died. Instead of walking Explorer Richard Burton commits suicide repeatedly traveling hundreds of miles downstream each time to areas occupied by Races, Cultures, Empires, of different time periods of Earth History.During his numerous times of committing suicide and being resurrected, something happened, he woke up before ending up on the shore naked. He observed a chamber of countless people in clear pods (coffins) still not resurrected.Richard Burton commits suicide and is Resurrected again, this time he is visited by a cloaked figure that warns him that by committing suicide so many times (hundreds) he has become noticed, and that the next time he might not be Resurrected. The cloaked figure tells Explorer Richard Burton if he wants answers he must go to the Polar Sea to a Tower.Explorer Richard Burton meets Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain. They compare what the had seen, there is almost no metal to make anything at "Riverworld". No Animals were Resurrected so travel by foot is the only current means or committing suicide. Riverworld has the River going north to south completely around the Entire Planet to the Polar Sea. Samuel Clemens is searching for his Wife Livy. It took a very long time for Samuel Clemens to build the Riverboat, the cloaked figure that Samuel Clements named "X" arranged a metal rich meteor to strike near where Samuel Clemens was at, causing widespread destruction and over 300,000 deaths, among the dead is his Wife Livy. Samuel Clemens starts Mining the metal, and for protection made a deal to be Allied with King John, they then formed a Nation. Samuel Clements Riverboat is built.They encountered other Explorers, one group had actually saw The Dark Tower (Stephen King must have read Riverworld), a very large black tower located in the center of the polar sea, while searching for the source of the River. Some died after seeing The Dark Tower, and were Resurrected all over Riverworld, as to how word spread so quickly.The Nation created by Samuel Clemens starts construction of an Airship, the size of the Hindenburg Airship. Built airplanes and a helicopter launched from and recovered by the Airship.They fly to The Dark Tower in the Airship. Only to discover the entrances are protected by a force field. One of the Explorers makes it into The Dark Tower, Explorer Richard Burton and Samuel Clemens suspect he was an Agent for the Creators of Riverworld they named "Ethicals", and that they have been infiltrated.Samuel Clemens and King John become Enemies.A Battle occurs between King John and Samuel Clemens, two Riverboats destroyed each other. King John is killed during aerial combat fighting Samuel Clemens, Samuel Clemens airplane crashes into the River and dies of a heart attack.Explorer Richard Burton uses a remaining ship and gets to the Polar Sea."X" is called to The Dark Tower to Stand Trial. "X" kills everybody in The Dark Tower to end the Resurrections, this also stopped the Grailstones from providing food, in the Chaos half the population of Riverworld gets killed fighting for food.Also damaged at The Dark Tower, the Computer that holds everybody's Souls that died at Riverworld, and will not be Resurrected if not repaired, their Souls will be forever lost to the Universe."X" starts killing the other Creators "Ethicals" and Agents of the Creators outside The Dark Tower.Now Pacifist Herman Goering of the Church of the Second Chance attempts to repair the Computer and is immediately killed. Alice bypasses the security and Loga repairs the Computer."X" reveals that he is not a Creator of Riverworld and had been Resurrected Centuries ago, trained by the Creators "Ethicals", and that Riverworld is a Moral Test for Humanity to become "Enlightened", those that have not become Enlightened after the Test will have their Souls released to be lost to the Universe forever.The Survivors must now figure out what to do with The Dark Tower, capabilities of the Creators of Riverworld.
Leofwine_draca
Apparently, Philip Jose Farmer's RIVERWORLD novels involve a fantasy world inhabited by souls of dead famous people. This Sci Fi Channel treatment of the story turns the whole concept into an outlandish B-movie with crushingly dull American characters and cheesy fight choreography. The whole effect is something you'd see in the likes of XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS instead of a proper, thought-provoking piece of filmmaking.The movie was made and filmed in New Zealand, so picturesque locations are about the only thing this has going for it. Everywhere else the acting is terrible; particularly Emily Lloyd, who has the fakest-sounding voice ever, like she's been dubbed. There's a lot of action here, but it's infantile in the extreme, done by people who have no clue how to stage properly exciting scenes. RIVERWORLD is a bore and barely worth watching, a generic mess no different from a hundred other such productions.
XweAponX
This film took serious liberties with the Riverworld series of books written by Phillip Jose Farmer.However, unlike the 2010 version starring "Dollhouse" star Tahmoh Penikett, the basic structure of the Riverworld is basically intact. I find just now, that this first Riverworld film was actually the Pilot for a TV series on Sifi/Syfy which was never aired.The centerpiece of the original Riverworld book, "To your Scattered Bodies Go" - Has Sir Francis Bacon waking on the Riverworld and glimpsing the mysterious "Waystation" which might hold the answers to what the Riverworld is and who made it - But he dies and resurrects before he can get to it. In his wanderings and attempts to get back to the Waystation he hooks up with Mark Twain/Samuel Clemens who is searching for his beloved Livvie, and a huge English-Speaking Neanderthal man. They begin a huge "Riverboat" project with several other historical figures including the notorious King John and Hermann Goering, who turn out to be a skags of epic proportions and steal the original Riverboat. In the following volume "The Fabulous Riverboat" - Twain has found his Livvie who is living with Cyrano de Bergerac, and the Politics of the Riverworld is explored as several cultures clash and the Riverworld inhabitants begin an industrial complex.Part of this survives in this Made-for-TV Pilot, but the addition of other extraneous characters, like Nero and other Romans, and an Alien who apparently died on Earth right before it was destroyed - Add confusion to the general storyline - Perhaps if this would have run as a Series, some of these inconsistencies would have been explained, but as a one-shot it strays from the general story.As it stands, this film tries to work in elements from three Riverworld novels and falls short due to time constraints.As with most novels re-written for screen, the writers try to "modernise" the story by adding a contemporary "introduction" - things that never happened in the book - Involving characters who were not part of the original story - An astronaut "Jeff Hale" played by Brad Johnson is flying a Space shuttle which is destroyed by Meteors and crashes. The next thing Johnson knows is that he is on a beach naked with other people and there is a huge blue-light-emitting "Grail" there which is doling out food and clothes. There is actually a Neanderthal on the beach, but it is not the same Neanderthal from the book, this one grunts and squeals and tried to steal someone else's food, and "Nero" (Jonathan CAKE) kills him, much to Johnson's distaste, thus setting up the major conflict of *this* version of Riverworld.The Ressurectees are rounded up by "Valdemar" (Kevin Tod Smith - "Ares" from Xena: Warrior Princess) and locked up, to be used in entertainment-fights and as slaves. But Nero/CAKE kills Valdemar and takes over the Bad Guy camp, making it worse. Johnson escapes and hooks up with Clemens who is building his Riverboat with his Alien Pal, when Cake attacks the good guy camp with his Resurrected Roman Legion, but Johnson kicks his arse and kills him by slicing him up withy a sword, but it looks like CakeNero got resurrected.The most disappointing part of this for me was when "Valdemar" is killed unceremoniously with great humiliation by Nero/Cake. I just thought it Ironic for the great "Ares" from Xena Warrior Princes to be killed off by a guy named "Cake" But the main idea of Riverworld, that they build a Riverboat so they can search for answers, is intact. The Renegade "Elemental" is shown a few times, helping Johnson out- In the book, the Elemental visits Sir Francis Bacon.Horrible CG Riverboat at the end, but it shows a high-shot of the boat on the Riverworld River, and he high unclimbable walls that enclose the river - This image, at least, survived into this version.
CAL FORD
I don't understand the Sci Fi channel, somehow these idiots have money, production studios, staff - yet they produce trash. I've seen college productions that had more depth and quality. The worst part of Sci Fi is that they absorb the sci fi world on cable, not leaving room for actual quality productions.River World is a good example of a production that had good actors and lots of money yet the product is a pure waste of time. Either the management of Sci Fi Channel are incompetent or the Sci Fi is actively dumbing down the population. That would be a great Sci Fi show, how a cable channel is in conspiracy with some invisible group to turn society into drooling robots who never ask questions and only follow the Sci Fi channel's programming.
