Lovesusti The Worst Film Ever

BootDigest Such a frustrating disappointment

Smartorhypo Highly Overrated But Still Good

ShangLuda Admirable film.

iain_miller1 Gripping dark comedy of the highest standard as Peter Mullan takes us on the truly memorable journey of a Glaswegian family coming to terms with their mother's death and the events preceding her funeral. This film reeks of authentic Scottish humour, culture and attitude. Mullan's dialogue and narrative are tremendous and with excellent performances throughout, in particular Stephen McCole (Rushmore(1998), The Acid House(1998)(act 1 'The Granton Star Cause')) as John, Orphans is a must see, especially for fans of Trainspotting(1996). The catholic church takes a fair beating also in keeping with Mullan's views in his most recent triumph The Magdalene Sisters(2002). Wonderful stuff 9/10

Spikey-2 I've noticed that what people seem to miss in their reviews of this fine movie is that the characters aren't really supposed to be likeable. This is not a Meg Ryan romantic comedy, it's a tough, gritty ultra-realistic portrayal of the poor sections of Scotland's largest city and the people who inhabit them. I mean really... if you're looking for "Sleepless In Seattle", this movie is not for you. If you're concerned about the language - as some previous reviewers have been - take my advice; avoid this movie and avoid Glasgow. People really talk like that.Mullen, already an accomplished actor both on stage and film, shows that his talent stretches far beyond performance and delivers both in the script and directorally a solid and enjoyably depressing movie with equal laughs and tears. It puts the viewer on a relentless, unforgiving emotional rollercoaster; up in parts and down the next with little warning and not much time to adjust. This makes for uncomfortable viewing at times, but therein lies the genius behind it. It amazes me that people waste time on the pointless "Trainspotting" when gems like 'Orphans' (and "My Name Is Joe") are around. It's masterful film-making, taking realistic characters and settings down dark and noirish surrealistic scenarios with spot-on performances by all. If you know Glasgow, you'll see it in all its glory, good and bad, perfectly portrayed on the screen. If you're not from Glasgow but you have an open mind, don't miss it.And remember... every f**ker loves Connolly. ;)

Alek Davis I read a few positive comments about this movie, so I decided to watch it. Since I really liked Peter Mullan in "My Name Is Joe", I expected "Orphans" to follow the same tradition, but after watching it for 40 minutes or so I was really disappointed, so I finally lost any interest and stopped the tape. I guess different people have different perceptions of humor, but if you - like me - are hoping for something in the mood of "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" or, in the worst case, "London Kills Me", do not waste your time: you will not find anything funny (unless you get amused by listenning to every single character repeating "f***ing" every other word). The only good comment I could make would be about the actors, but even they did not save this uninteresting film.

imxo Wow, what a night this has been. It started off with Glasgow's very interesting "Orphans", and finished with Berlin's equally interesting "Nighshades"; the first was a black comedy, the second merely black. My advice to the neighbors of these Glaswegians and Berliners would be: keep your doors locked. Both of these films deal with the eternal verities of life - love, loyalty, friendship, duty, betrayal, etc. - as encountered amid the emotional squalor in two of northern Europe's major cities, but there are enough sociopathic and psychopathic characters in these two films to populate several good sized asylums for the criminally insane. These people need to get more sun."Orphans", at least, was a bittersweet black comedy, though more bitter than sweet. Life might be hard in inner-city Glasgow, but some of their vendettas would seem more appropriate to Sicily than to Scotland. There is a harshness to the humor that is at times more than black. Death can often be funny, but can one say the same for rape and murder - even when not fully consumated? Perhaps the English can enjoy this bit of schadenfreude at the Scots' expense. I have only one real complaint about "Orphans", however, and it's a technical one. The film has the WORST SUBTITLES EVER PUT ON FILM - and they're English-to-English! If the characters are speaking English - heavily accented though it may be - why on earth would the dialog itself be changed in the sub-titles? Do the people responsible really believe that they have to substitute the word "baby" in the sub-titles every time a Glaswegian holding a child makes a reference to the "wee 'un?" And to hear the characters actually say the "F" word dozens of times, yet find the word in the sub-titles not once is very odd. Maybe these sub-titles are a part black-comedy in themselves. Ultimately, though, they are just disappointing and unprofessional. In the event, I would certainly recommend this film for it's superb acting - at least I hope it's acting - black humor, and unique take on Death in Glasgow, but when it comes to your summer holidays I'd recommend giving working-class Glasgow a very wide berth. Ditto for Berlin.