SnoReptilePlenty Memorable, crazy movie

ShangLuda Admirable film.

Chirphymium It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional

TaryBiggBall It was OK. I don't see why everyone loves it so much. It wasn't very smart or deep or well-directed.

grey-morgan Do not waste your time on this... there are no words for how aggressively awful it is. The effects are terrible. The performances by some fairly well known and seasoned actors are dreadful despite their best efforts. The story is amateurish, at best. The only reason I could surmise for having such well known actors, is that it was directed by Richard Elfman, the brother of Danny Elfman. Only watch it if you're like me and enjoy watching awful movies, just to see how awful they are. Do not be deceived by the review shown on the page by a "mopedcecil". On further examination, the user wrote three shining reviews all were Richard Elfman movies. So, me thinks it is none other than the trash auteur himself. Be warned...

bkoganbing Other than Rod Steiger doing this tongue in cheek imitation of Laurence Olivier's Mitteleuropa accent and having a ball as a modern Dr. Van Helsing, this rather witless comedy might go over with the juvenile trade, but not too many others. It certainly does make vampires out to be such fun creatures.Natasha Gregson Wagner and Casper Van Dien are a couple of modern vampires who are tired of the rule of that most notorious vampire of them all, Count Dracula as played by Robert Pastorelli. But all of them have to worry that that famous vampire slaughterer Van Helsing who's on the prowl with some new kind of help, a few boys from the hood.Except when Steiger was on the screen I didn't get too many laughs out of this film though. Maybe it's because my taste in music just doesn't run to rap which blares at intervals during the movie. There is one other good scene I did like. Kim Catrall pulling a freight train with the Van Helsing helpers and turning them all into vampires. It's the inevitable result of sex with one.For the juvenile trade strictly.

rhbwebpages2 There wasn't much all that scary or thrilling about this movie, as its self-proclaimed genre suggests. Rather, it was a great movie to watch and make fun of. Seeing the esteemed van Helsing tromping around LA with his ghetto band of misfits was the most ridiculous thing I've seen on film in a while. And the scene where the four "brothers" gang bang the vampire is hilarious due to its unexpected nature and exaggeration. And hearing Count Dracula call multiple people "f**kwads" is great. Watch this for laughs, but don't expect to get nightmares.Some of the special effects were cool, however, such as the "dying" of vampires when struck with a wooden stake and Dracula's hedonistic LA club. Overall, not bad. Just goofy.

ReggieSantori MODERN VAMPIRES is an (obviously) independent (obviously) low budget "off-beat" little thing that features Casper Van Dien. His character is a vampire who smiles a lot and always seems to be thinking "dude! I'm a vampire!" All the vampires in the picture like to show their fangs a lot and have no conception of subtlety, even though they are supposed to be fashionable. Rod Steiger appears as Van Helsing in this version (who is somehow only about 60 years old at the end of the 20th century) and he has a huge grudge against Van Dien's character for making his son a vampire. A prostitute vampire figures prominently in the plot and our hero takes her under his wing to show her the ropes of vampire society and to save her from a vampire count who wants her dead. Any of this sound interesting to you yet? It isn't. I just watched it because I thought the Sci-Fi channel might be showing a real movie for a change. Wrong! This cheap, un-involving junk is on par with all the crap they show. The lighting and music are really bad points that go extra far to cheapen an already lame production. MODERN VAMPIRES even takes a few stabs at being funny, but these fail too. It's as if a made for TV film decided half-way through production to be hip and trendy like FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, but wasn't quite sure how to go about it. This is exactly what you'd expect it to be: wanna-be quirky, poorly acted, boring, predictable, and downright annoying when it tries to make you like it. I genuinely hope that this director never gets work again. Unless you're a sucker for seeing Rod Steiger making a fool of himself, stay far away from MODERN VAMPIRES.