Chirphymium
It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional
Francene Odetta
It's simply great fun, a winsome film and an occasionally over-the-top luxury fantasy that never flags.
Leofwine_draca
Certainly the prison-set action movie is one of the most popular genres out there, and also one of the most overcrowded. 2003 saw the release of two such movies from former high-profile stars Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Van Damme's flick, IN HELL, was a stylistic if disturbing minor masterpiece which played with the audience's expectations, whilst the former's effort is HALF PAST DEAD, a film at the opposite end of the spectrum: cheap, boringly directed, with cheesy special effects and pretty appalling acting. Thankfully the film is made bearable by the presence of so many so-bad-they're-good elements, the biggest (in both senses of the word) being the considerable presence of Mr. Seagal himself. More good-natured than usual (he smiles a lot here), Seagal delights the viewer with his acting capabilities, even if, it has to be said, his martial arts isn't what it used to be – in fact for almost all the fights or stunts, he's doubled, and obviously at that.The film takes place in a futuristic-looking prison nicknamed the New Alcatraz, and the inmates are a disparate group of old TV actors and unknown black guys. Certainly there are two rappers in the cast, one of whom, Ja Rule, shares a leading role with Seagal. Sadly, it is well known that rappers can't act, so Mr. Rule's performance is somewhat disappointing. The sleazy bad guy is played by Morris Chestnut, whom some (but probably not many) may remember as Seagal's buddy in UNDER SIEGE II: DARK TERRITORY. He's grown up a lot since then, and is now a hulking, ruthless nemesis, but nothing Seagal can't handle of course. The female lead belongs to a lacklustre Claudia Christian, who has an annoying habit of squeezing her eyes tight shut every time she fires a gun, so her authenticity as a chief FBI agent is somewhat comprised.Real kudos should go to 40-something but surprisingly hot Nia Peeples as a female assassin, a martial arts mistress who kicks butt throughout the film; she's the only one who inserts any drive or enthusiasm into this piece, and it's a shame she isn't on the screen for longer. As for the action, well it is cheesy and uses wire work when necessary, and the trappings rip-off the likes of DIE HARD all the while. There are some CGI effects, the bane of low budget films, which are of course ludicrous, although the interplay between the main characters (principally the death row inmate, the prison warden, and the bad guys) isn't half bad. This is definitely a film which moves fast and doesn't give you time to reach for the remote; it may be bad and it may be clichéd, but damn if it isn't cheesy and entertaining in equal measure. Far from Seagal's best, but also far from his worst (that'd be THE PATRIOT).
Python Hyena
Half Past Dead (2002): Dir: Don Michael Paul / Cast: Steven Seagal, Ja Rule, Morris Chestnut, Nia Peeples, Claudia Christian: Another pathetic excuse for an action film and it is about as stupid as they get. Title seems to suggest a near death experience that the victim overcomes. The victim is Steven Seagal who took a bullet for hoodlum buddy Ja Rule. He recovers and goes undercover inside a prison where he encounters Ja Rule again. Apparently Rule's boss killed Seagal's wife although he sees him as a friend despite his poor life choices. Central plot regards the planning at an Alcatrez type prison for an execution of an elderly man guilty of killing innocent people during a robbery attempt. He stole and hid gold bars and only gives the whereabouts to Seagal. The plot is reduced to numerous violent encounters where bullets parade the air. Director Don Michael Paul does well with the action with Seagal still playing an overblown ass-kicking moron that he has played in every other witless film that he saw as a great acting opportunity. Ja Rule tags along in a role played by numerous other actors in Seagal films. He is that moron sidekick who helps ass kick. Also wasted are Morris Chestnut and Nia Peeples who hopefully won't have to suffer career damage forever because of this. Pointless garbage to the very end this film should be re-titled Half Past Dense. Score: 2 / 10
bkoganbing
Sometime in the near future that island in San Francisco Bay is being used for what God intended, a federal prison once again. But now it's a high tech new and improved Alcatraz with Tony Plana as the warden. It's still an unbreakable no escape facility, but no one ever counts on someone breaking into prison.Which is what Morris Chestnut, Nia Peeples and an assorted gang of body armored thugs do when hijacker Bruce Weitz is about to be executed. It seems that Weitz who has cleaned up quite a bit since he portrayed Detective Mick Belker on Hill Street Blues, has gone and buried a small fortune in gold bullion which he robbed back in the day resulting in several Treasury agents being killed. Which is why Weitz is on death row.But Chestnut's helicopter which is his escape route crashes in a blinding rainstorm, we get a hostage situation which also involves a Supreme Court Justice in the person of Linda Thorson. Back before she got to the high court, Thorson was the judge who tried and sentenced Weitz and she's there as a witness to the execution that gets delayed.Fortunately for all concerned Steven Segall is in the joint with his criminal buddy Ja Rule and he organizes the cons to resist.People who go to see Steven Segall movies go for the action and violence and not a coherent and realistic plot. The action is plenty as Segall goes through the film in a style that makes Sylvester Stallone look like John Barrymore.If that's what your taste in film is, go for it.
screenman
Yes; it's that same old formula. From the Prince of One-Dimension-And -Single-Expression comes yet another vacuous outing.He's an undercover something-or-other. He's not a SEAL, he's not a cook, he's not a born-again-eco-warrior, he's - in the FBI this time, I think.Today, he's banged-up behind bars. Our hero's masquerading as a bad-ass criminal type. And it just so happens that a genuine gang of semi-pathological anti-socials break in, determined to take over the train, er - battleship, I mean town. Oops! it's a prison.Cue some indiscriminate killing to prove how nasty they are. There are innocents taken hostage - must have those. And there are threats and ultimatums and stuff. It seems that one of the inmates is due to fry. And he's taking any knowledge of the whereabouts of his $200 million dollar bullion stash to the grave with him. The gang mean to find out where it is before authorities can throw the switch. But they haven't bargained on Mr S. There's the usual shoot 'em ups where baddies with machine guns can't hit a thing, whilst our hero can hardly miss. There's the usual cliché-stricken dialogue. There's all the typical macho-excess and testosterone posturing. There's also a female with such an astonishing capacity for athletics in a leather trench-coat, that she looks like a failed screen-test for the 'Matrix' franchise making good on her investment in cosmetics and clothes: waste not, want not. Trinity, she ain't. Though she all but runs up the walls.I forget how it ends. What am I saying? Steven Segal systematically bumps 'em all off in various grisly ways. The law triumphs and right prevails. Even the stock-market recovers and a sub-prime mortgage disaster is averted (just kidding).There's no interesting train. There's no beautiful, sexy battleship. There's no nice outdoor location work. It's all shot indoors in splendid prison grey to match the rest of the movie. It's predictable action, it's wholesale slaughter. It's boring, repetitive and ham. It's Steven Segal.Strictly for the fans. They're the one's who give it ridiculously high stars, and call it 'classic'. Each to their own.Not recommended.Incidentally; the title 'Half Past Dead' is actually half past plagiarism. The line appeared in a song called 'The Weight' which featured in the 1968/9 classic movie 'Easy Rider'. It ran: "I pulled into Nazareth, I was feeling 'bout half past dead; I just need some place, where I can lay my head". It's been covered by several artists including Bob Dylan's Band.Ain't nothing' new in this world.
