fedor8
A reviewer referred to this catatonic movie as a "feminist horror story". While I wouldn't disagree with that, I'd prefer to call it a plot-poor yawn-fest melodrama with a cretinously banal story-line. Old people's love-triangle Bumsfest romantic drama? That works too. Or I could simply refer to this pseudo-cinematic drivel as GILF porn. The hideous actress who toys around with men (and very "fittingly" looks like one too) is naked throughout the movie. Yes, it's such a "deep", involving, artistic story, isn't it. Actually, all these different descriptions could be merged into one simple term: rubbish.Pretentious rubbish. Note the absence of music – aside from the inane, superfluous choir scenes which somehow are needed to remind us that she is indeed old, and not 18. You see, the absence of music means the director bows down (to his knees, and then chin-to-ground) to Lars Von Trier's Pretentious Dummies 95 manifesto, which basically instructs its blind (and empty-headed, not to mention talent-free) adherents not to utilize music because somehow a soundtrack makes the story "insincere" (or some such rubbish; I don't pretend to know much about this cretinous, art-fart Eurotrash movement aside that it's absolute horseshit for bird-brained film students and impotent, obese film critics). One of the other tenets of the 95 (bowel) movement is that porn is not only acceptable, but that dangling (or upright) male genitalia represent another highly artistic step toward more sincerity. Yes, I know. We all know: Lars is a degenerate, pompous ass. And European cinema still wallows in its own self-indulging ineptitude laced with sexual obsessions most of which are perversions. No, I don't mean old folk having sex, I mean full frontal nudity of an underage girl, a scene which the lustful film-maker somehow managed to squeeze in, despite that being the only scene in which any minor appears, and despite that girl being wholly irrelevant to the plot. (The old "sneak-a-bush" tactic.) Or was this some tiny New Age feminist commentary about how "progressive" the nympho's daughter is to have her kids running around naked in the garden? European film-makers know their audiences all-too well: give them naked underage kids, incest, or bondage, and your movie-festival rating as an "artist with a unique vision" goes through the roof. The story? An amazingly stupid old nymphomaniac woman (who looks like Gary Numan after years of alcoholic binging) screws her husband – literally and metaphorically – by cheating on him with an even older geezer. Now, it's not as if she develops a romantic, touching, unintentional, spontaneous relationship with this other guy over a period of time. No. Like a hormonally-challenged teeny-bopper she has him humping her within minutes of meeting him for the first time. No, this is no joke. Nor am I joking when I tell you that the woman's adult daughter LAUGHS and then SMILES and then APPROVES of her affair when her mother confesses about it. Her daughter – ever the ungrateful skank but viewed sympathetically through the film-maker's immoral feminazi prism – actually encourages her mother to continue the affair, because, after all, the man she is cheating on is "only" her step-father who "only" sacrificed his best years to bring her up (another man's offspring as his own) so why the hell not, right? She warns her mother to keep it secret though. She does have THAT much common sense at least. So not all female characters in the movie are necessarily utter imbeciles, only partially mentally and morally impaired. However, in the film-maker's eyes, they are not moral degenerates at all.Alas, her daughter's advice is not heeded by the choir-singing floozy who turns out to be beyond daft. To selfishly unburden her sense of guilt, the fat ugly cow tells her hubby about how she's been shagging this other guy. As expected, her hubby is outraged, becomes depressed, and concludes that his wife of 30 years is "a moron". It is at that point that the audience in the theaters rapture into a spontaneous applause: "yes, man, she is soooo dumb!"Oh, but I kid. Of course no audience applauded (nor would I ever watch this trash in a cinema). No, not because most of audience are feminazi zombies, but because most of them were snoring by this point. You see, this movie is so saturated with padding. It's so full of unnecessary Euro art-fart BS that if you'd compress this sex-film-impersonating-a-serious-character-study into its plot-relevant scenes, you'd get something like 10 minutes. So yes, the movie WOULD be a 10-minute GILF porn clip with a touch of generic drama if only there weren't all those fabulous scenes of German landscapes and parks, which are intended to give the typical hipster-hat-wearing coffee-sniffing art-fest film-goer a chance to MUSE over the incredible philosophical ramification of a fat nymphomaniac having sex, over the ridiculously underdeveloped characters, or simply a chance to go for a leak.If only the lazy film-maker had had the common sense to make her husband impotent. At least that could've served as some flimsy but somewhat credible excuse for the affair. But no. Her husband is still sexually active, AND she enjoys the sex with him, whereas it's the new boyfriend who can't always get it up! Sure, in many ways this has all the hallmarks of an Ed Wood classic.Her husband – very very very predictably - ends up committing suicide shortly after being ditched by his perpetually wet wife, and that's it. What's the point? The message, dare I say? Well, in terms of feminist "logic", the message is: "girls, enjoy yourselves, indulge your hedonism, and by all means screw over your loyal partner if your vagina ever gets that nympho need". For the rest of us, the message is more like: "all you fat, ugly, selfish bitches should keep your affairs secret – IF you're going to cheat on your husbands."Want more laughs? Read the comments section.
csrothwec
This may be a good film. I have not the faintest idea in terms of how it develops beyond the first half hour, as that is all I could take before I feared that terminal boredom would get me for sure and I put on my recording of "Destry rides again" (James Stewart/Marlene Dietrich) to bring me back to life! I have heard that watching paint dry can be tiresome, but I found this, with its interminable panning shots and mumbled dialogue, the equivalent of listening to someone watching paint dry! No thanks/life's too short (as I presume was "the message" of this rambling cinematic outing????)Why DO so many German films have to be such stodgy, indigestible, s - l - o - w affairs? "Run, Lola, run" proves beyond the slightest doubt that they do not have to be!
carloyn50
I was disappointed by this movie. The meaning in German Wolke 9 or Cloud nine means that a person is full of happiness through being in love and passion with another person, hence sailing on Cloud 9. I don't argue that this could not happen to a well mature couple, but it was lacking in this movie. From an aesthete point of view it was not necessary to show closes ups of the aged bodies. I remember the movie Cocoon, which had a lot more sense, action and humor, also relating to older couples that enjoy or rediscover love and passion. Even the few spoken dialogs were motionless. I believe that the story had more potential than it showed. Well, just my opinion.
