NekoHomey
Purely Joyful Movie!
Pluskylang
Great Film overall
Guillelmina
The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.
conny-oh
I don't really know why this movie is so underrated.It is, as i know, the first feature film of the director. And the struggle to choose between your family and society is real. Not only in Turkish families, not in every family but in some for sure. Murder because of honer still exists. Murder because of different pictures of society still exists. And also it's a movie. I think it is really realistic but if you don't remind yourself of every Hollywood romance film existing. Yeah very realistic stuff.. I also don't get in what way this is racist. It is a story of a family not every family. This movie is a great example of using a different language than English or German and the cast is actually Turkish. It celebrates diversity in movies.There are many many other films which portray Turkish people in a more ghetto and criminal style but this film is about relationships and the problem of honor and empowerment in a society.The camera-work is beautiful. You feel like being sucked in that isolated world of the family. The dialog is beautiful written.I just love that film and i would recommend watching it.
Ger Ardo
Die Fremde, or When we Leave is a whole lot of western stereotyping of immigrants living in Europe. In this case, a married Turkish young woman with her son separates from her husband who beats and rapes her frequently. This brings to her life a whole lot of other problems, with her family and specially with her father (and mother), who greatly opposes to what he sees as wrong in a traditional society that treats women as a possession of men. It starts with the scenes of beating an raping that will be the main issues during the film, it follows with her struggle to start her own life under the opposition of her family, her father and the older brother being taking the leading roles in subjugating her.I really wouldn't recommend this film for its mostly eurocentric views of immigrants living in Europe.
djansen24
This film is very realistic. Its detailed depiction of one Turkish family living in Berlin casts overtones for a greater problem of European multiculturalism. But forget the wider scope of those implications for now. The film is very focused on Turkish culture within Germany and one of its great weaknesses: what it considers to be saving the "honor" of the family. The older daughter in the film has left her violent and abusive husband in Turkey and moved back to her family in Germany. Her parents immediately side with her husband, and they repeatedly ask the daughter to return to him. But the daughter has sacrificed much to get away, and will not return. After an attempt to kidnap her son and return him to the father fails, she moves out...and moves again...and moves again as problems mount. Her younger brother and sister, although initially supportive of her, slowly begin to turn against her as the shame of her living independently with child causes the Turkish community to isolate the family. This ultimately leads to a final decision by the men in the family, with tragic results. The family is Muslim, although Islam is not portrayed as the reason why the family is shamed by the older daughter. In the culture, it is easy for an independent woman to bring shame to the family, especially if she leaves her husband. At no time do the parents ever seriously consider the perspective of their daughter. It is quite clear, she has to maintain the family honor at all costs; which in this case means returning to her husband. As the daughter continues to make unwise choices by maintaining contact with her family because she loves them, the unwritten codes of this "honor" system will drive the family into greater acts of cruelty. This film can make you very angry indeed at the injustice to women done by patriarch based communal cultures. The "honor" that they cling to is so twisted. It is based on a superficial sense of righteousness that has little basis in truth. It is more concerned with appearances than justice. More concerned with blind obedience than righteousness. And that concept is promoted in Islam, though not exclusively. This film should be mandatory viewing for any woman in similar straits as the main character in the film who has needed to separate from the family for safety. The Germans have provided good resources for such women, but they are advised, "For now, avoid contact with your family." One of this beautifully done film's main points is: Once you leave or are forced to leave the family, it may be for good. You cannot expect your family to sympathize with you, support you, or even accept you as family. There is a good chance they WILL turn against you if the community slanders the family. And a woman who leaves her abusive husband, lives alone, calls the police for safety, or takes any action to safeguard her life and livelihood may very well be thought of as nothing more than a "whore" by the rest of the German Turkish community. Contact your family again at risk to your life! I would wish that Turkish men (those who are perpetrators, that is) who see this would also feel ashamed for some of their sexist standards, but I don't know if they would...The film is very moving and well done. The actors all fulfill their roles, particularly the leading lady. The eye communication of the cast is extremely profound, leaving you wondering about all of the unspoken thoughts stewing in their heads. The writing allows sympathy with all of the characters while still clearly pointing out who is right and who is wrong. You see they all have deep passions about righteousness. It's just that some are righteous and others are not. It is a simple story that casts deep shadows on complexities of cultural clashes. This is not a film that will break grounds in cinematography, but it is a brave film and urgent as the Muslim (both immigrant and native) population rises in Europe. Hopefully this will start a trend that will cause the Turkish culture to think about what true honoring of the family really is.
memory_shell
I have seen that the previous reviews on the movie also focused on describing the male-dominant concept existing in very Turkish culture. I will choose not to proceed with that part primarily, but only will share my impressions on the movie itself.However, I should still note that these fictitious series of events filmed are not unfortunately far away from the many, that are actual and real life stories. Positive Impressions: Sibel Kekilli appears to have pulled off a very good job with acting. Her role shares many things in common with the one she had in Head On- Gegen die Wand-Duvara Karsi. Her acting was obviously one of the major factors that would significantly influence the overall score, she definitely did a good job.The script itself is generally very realistic, mostly good at simulating a similar incidence that could have happened. It has errors to a certain level from where I look, which I will share later on. Dynamics of this family, with their sensitivity to gossips within their society and the type of expressions they use to deal with things etc. is projected quite accurately. There is a problem with technical depiction of the family, that I will point later on.Negative Impressions:The family itself, as it has been accurately pointed in one of the other reviews, does not support their suggested background. This corrupted social understanding is righteously attributed in one other reviews "to have become a method even independent from Muslim culture itself". Different backgrounds carry different amounts of this understanding. One family would have minded just a little bit, whereas the second would condemn their daughter at any chance, and a third would decide to "eliminate the problem". The third type of family is usually, if actually not always, belong to a very rural background. This third type of family, pictured in the photo didn't reflect such a background with the way they look or the way they talk. Umay's husband, even an accurate choice with his looks, sounded way too urban in the first minutes of the movie. Umay's mother, while with a rural way of talking in the first half, gradually transformed to a typical Istanbul lady with her pronounciation. The older brother was the best among others, whereas he alone couldn't suffice to keep the picture intact with the suggested background of the family. I believe a family image with sharper edges would have kept the picture more appropriate within the borders of realism.I would like to underline once more that the suggested background exists and is projected just to-the-point with choice of expressions family members use -whereas members themselves technically failed to give the impression of a "third-type family". As pointed once more in another review, you can never expect Turkish men to stop looking ahead and start watching their children while they are praying. While doesn't seem like a big issue for the whole movie, it essentially degrades the charm of the movie on viewers who are familiar with the culture. I have also been thinking several things about the plot, without coming to a final conclusion about what could have been better.* It's kind of complicated with why Umay goes to the sister's wedding... She promised her sister about it but she also recently moved away when her brother found out about where she lives. I'm not perfectly sure with the accuracy of realism here. However, it seems quite possible for a young lady who is so suppressed under clash of cultures to act emotional, as her conscious gets (unfortunately) less and less comfortable about the way she treated her family. * Also, the younger brother slapping Umay in the wedding, who has also been motivated to shoot her has been closer to "making sense" side of the shore during first half of the movie. He actually didn't seem to be really vulnerable to possible manipulations in the house, as he was apparently integrated deeper to the culture of the country. However, he was young and he was also under high supression, which can somehow justify his vulnerability. * I am also not very satisfied with the ending sequence. An older brother waiting with a knife in the corner for the younger brother to shoot the sister with a gun, then taking the job over when the younger fails. It's quite suspicious why he didn't pull the child off before going for some stabbing. I would picture an evening scene in some silent corner of the city, where the kid would be taken away by younger brother to somewhere else and Umay would have been killed by the older one. Finally, I am not perfectly sure if a complete outsider to the whole thing would get the concept and dynamics of the social structures in the movie. The movie itself did quite a good job with it, it's only about imagining reaction of a perfect strange to the culture and this content. I naturally cannot be objective, since I already have knowledge about the whole thing. Even I have noted many negative impressions, at the end of the day (with a Turkish way of saying something), this movie is generally very real. The chain of events, apart from the technical depiction of the family, definitely make sense, since there are unfortunately similar real life incidents continuing to happen every year. It is a good feeling to see an above-the-average attempt on screen for giving a chance to every individual, to leave anything else than their sole humanity outside the theatre and watch -and think.
