Maz Murdoch (asda-man)
OK so from the front cover of the DVD makes it look like a fun film about a clown. The blurb sounds interesting in its sort of "Wishmaster" set-up and at a very low price of £3 (or something near that) why not give it a go? I wouldn't watch this is someone gave it to me for free. Frankly I'm ashamed of having this in my horror collection, alongside other DVD's I managed to obtain from 'Poundland', "Live Feed", "Killjoy", "Jigsaw" and "Camp Blood" although I did not purchase this in 'Poundland', it bloody belongs there!No where on the DVD does it mention that this isn't even a film, but made as a mini-series for mobile phones! Why would anyone want this on your mobile anyway? It's amateurish beyond belief with incredibly poor directing, acting, editing, music and writing. The collection of short films aren't even clever, they're just jam-packed with the worst special effects you could imagine and no direction of a plot.I'm convinced that the five star review on here is from someone who was involved in the production of the film. It's the worst thing you could imagine. It's not even a film. If you see this in your local supermarket or DVD shop, just walk past.
Scarecrow-88
An evil djinn in clownface offers a geeky, mistreated teenager a chance to be popular, and in accepting his offer, serves as a catalyst for a series of gruesome events plaguing her school as her fellow students suffer the wrath of making their unfortunate wish, via phone text. That's how the djinn captivates his intended victims, send them a text offering a wish, the kids returning what they yearn for, and paying the consequences. Two detectives(including Dominique Pinon of "City of Lost Children" fame as a slovenly, disheveled alcoholic whose methods of interrogation aren't exactly orthodox)must uncover the reason behind the unusual body count building at the school under more than suspicious circumstances.The version I watched was only about 60 minutes so it was arranged in episodic form without Sean Pertwee's narration. Each episode features some teenager going through their own personal ordeal, wishing for something out of anger, off-the-cuff, a crisis of an emotional nature, or just because they want others to see them differently. The dark humorous nature of the movie takes no prisoners as the djinn preys on kids with hang-ups and other troubles, vulnerable and desperate.Such selected targets include:An oriental girl considered a "freak", the poor kid with acne, the fat boy whose eating habits are a bit off-putting, the nerd who so desperately desires to kiss the resident babe, the teen who wants X-ray vision to watch the female basketball team practicing naked, the struggling student fearing to fail his test who yearns to "see into the smart one's brain" getting just that, the facially scarred girl who wants to be beautiful, an anorexic who wishes to lose a "little weight", the closet lesbian who wants to look "good enough to eat" for a girl she carries a torch for, the guy who pines for his current girlfriend to have big breasts getting more than he bargained for, another wishing for the return of his step father who passed away the previous year, a girl wishing she was "hot", a scorned teen who, after catching her boyfriend getting an oral going-over by the school's most desirable chick, wishing to never see him again, a girl wishing that people could see how beautiful she was "on the inside", an obnoxious trouble-making lesbian(you'll notice that she is always bullying and ridiculing many of the victims throughout)wishes to be with her lover until they die, etc.With plenty of gore, and applied computer graphics for the more difficult effects(..such as the burning of a face, eyeballs showing up in places they don't belong, an arm gushing blood after the hand was taken off in a garbage disposal and so on). I will say that some of the practical effects are impressive enough to leave you rather taken aback(or laughing depending on you sense of humor). Most of the individual stories last mere minutes before the characters are dispatched in sickening ways. Such potent violence includes a victim falling eyes-first on scissors, a victim crushed into a wall by a van, cannibalism, a suicide involving pencils up a victim's nostrils, a car leaving a victim's stomach open and her intestines exposed, etc. The whole "mobile phone horror series" idea shows in the movie sense the length of the scenarios, and victims' various outcomes based on those wishes which sealed their fates, aren't very long. I liked this more than others it seems because I thought the dark heart of the filmmakers was in the right place, and there's a sick sense of humor involved that I found rather entertaining. Definitely low budget with some effects less than satisfactory. Some lesbianism which I thought was nice, mostly kissing, and a surprising amount of nudity(mostly leering, lurid camera shots up the legs of the girls, exploiting the short skirts the private British school seems unaffected by).
Jeff Fitzgerald (BlackSox1919-1)
It is difficult to imagine anyone making a worse movie on purpose. Even my current Worst Movie Ever Made, "Night Divides the Day," was made by a bunch of clueless college kids with home video cameras and no money. This movie was made by professionals, with real actors and a budget. Deliberately trying to cash in on the current J-horror craze (even going so far as to cast a vaguely Asian-looking woman as the "star"), the story of an evil force spreading mayhem through text messages sounds promising but ultimately turns into an enormous pile of crud. Stupid jokes, unconvincing special effects, gratuitous nudity, and frankly ridiculous and predictable vignettes. Avoid this movie at all costs, even if it means renting "Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector" instead. "When Evil Calls" is *that* bad.
