Unlimitedia Sick Product of a Sick System

Raetsonwe Redundant and unnecessary.

Chirphymium It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional

Married Baby Just intense enough to provide a much-needed diversion, just lightweight enough to make you forget about it soon after it’s over. It’s not exactly “good,” per se, but it does what it sets out to do in terms of putting us on edge, which makes it … successful?

crystallogic In all honesty, I'm probably being a bit generous with the rating here, but, though I've only very recently started writing reviews on IMDB, I figure I'm not going to rate something I do still kind of enjoy lower than a 5. Maybe my ideas will change about this as time goes on. Right now, I can't say. This movie is not boring, even though it's rather inept, and even laughable. I've seen almost all of these Bresccia space movies from 77/80 now and theyr'e all real bargain bin stuff, but this one is probably the best of the lot. Whether that is of any significance, depends on you. Regardless, all these films are of the sort of quality that makes the Gamma 1 films from 10+ years before seem like works of majestic artistry. You should probably be scared by that assertion.I can just imagine some drunk producer, having just gotten out of a viewing of Star Wars in 1977, calling up poor Alfonso on the phone and shouting, "WE GOTTA MAKE A MOVIE LIKE THIS! GET TO IT!" Alfonso, being a patient, quiet sort of man (ok, I'm really guessing, here), could not make his gentle queries about budgetary concerns and such heard. So, it's off to the junk yard he goes, to pick up any vaguely electronic-looking odds-and-ends he can find. Armed with this and a few bottles of super-glue, and a lot of wire, he proceeds to assemble his motley band of space marines.So, I know it's been mentioned before, but the editing of this film is weird, and makes it seem almost more artistic than it probably is. Scenes from the beginning of the film are never explained, or the consequences only kind of reveal themselves at the very end. A few of the scenes might be out of order -- or they might not be. it's up to you to decide. The result is -- actually kind of cool, in a loopy, doped-up way.What's interesting, too, is that while this may have been intended as a Star Wars cash-in, it's really not much like Star Wars at all. What this resembles, to me, is the original Star Trek series crashing messily into Barbarella. So, basically, this film , ather than being in any way on the cutting-edge of a new sci-fi trend, already looks, feels, sounds -- ten, or even fifteen years, out of date. The fact our man Al was probably asked to do the best he could to simulate Star Wars and came up with -- this -- is actually quite something, isn't it?Also, there are about three trick endings, each more hilarious than the last. At the finish, I swear I almost felt like clapping. They had some balls to pull this off, I'll say that for 'em. if you're gonna watch one of these turkeys, let it be this one.

soulexpress Has a good science fiction film ever come out of Italy? Plenty of bad ones have, and this one might be the worst of the lot. This "2001" wannabe has a disjointed script, amateurish acting, inane-looking sets, crappy costumes with idiotic red helmets, supercomputers made of cardboard with flashing lights and robotic voices, and a dubbing job that makes the Gamera films sound professional.The plot: When the Earth receives a mysterious transmission from beyond its solar system, Captain Alex Hamilton and his starship crew investigate. After much tedium, the ship lands on the planet that sent the signal. It has been taken over by a supercomputer that has killed much of the planet's population and frightened the survivors into living underground. The computer sent the transmission because it needed help replacing its burnt-out circuits, and the natives weren't smart enough for the job. Hamilton destroys the supercomputer (by throwing a rock at it!), but in the process causes a chain reaction that blows up the entire planet. Oops!Item: in the space scenes, the stars bear an uncanny resemblance to light bulbs.Item: in several scenes, the background is solid black. Was a bluescreen beyond the budget, or did the director simply not give a damn?Item: the aliens suggest a cross between Yoda and Hare Krishnas, dipped in Rustoleum.Item: in this futuristic world, people have sex fully clothed and with no physical contact, instead laying their hands on a big ball that sits between them. (Hey, don't ask me!)Item: Captain Hamilton takes one of the alien beings, Etor, aboard the ship (for no apparent reason). Once they're in space, Etor watches the destruction of both his planet and species. His reaction? Well, he doesn't actually have one. For all the emotion on his face, Etor might as well have been watching "The MacNeil/Lehrer Report."Item: The film "climaxes" with a crew member, who the supercomputer has somehow possessed, attempting to sabotage the ship. His face has sprouted ugly red abscesses, he appears to have grown fangs, he foams at the mouth, and his nose runs copiously. As for how a computer can possess a man…. You can't possibly think this film would provide an explanation!Finally, my two favorites lines of dialogue:1) "We disappeared from one place and appeared in another!" 2) "Those strange signals are so baffling."

Leofwine_draca STAR WARS has a lot to answer for. When George Lucas' film first came out, it kick-started the sci-fi genre after years of po-faced shenanigans in the wake of 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY; it revitalised the serial-adventure genre, leading to a plethora of 1980s films like INDIANA JONES; and it 'inspired' a ton of rip-offs around the globe. No country ripped it off more than Italy, and director Alfonso Brescia is best known today for his series of insanely awful attempts at 'space operas', done with no budget, no intelligence, no reason. COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS is one of his worst, an utterly cheesy, often indescribable attempt at an adventure flick that makes no sense whatsoever. At the same time, watched in the right mood, it's a hilarious movie, often providing a ton of so-bad-it's-good entertainment along the way. It's no Turkish STAR WARS, but it comes close at times.Where to start? Our "heroes" (including a token black guy who bites it) wear tight-fitting uniforms (great on the girls, not so great on the guys) and even tighter-fitting red helmets that make them look ridiculous. Later on, there's an alien guy who looks like a cross between Yoda and a Hari Krishna, and an absolutely amusing fight between him and an ugly, skin-peeling vampire guy (possessed by a computer?) that seems to come out of a horror film rather than a cheesy sci-fi flick. But it's the special effects that make this movie so very BAD: space scenes where stars are lightbulbs; computers made of cardboard; a killer robot as bad as the ones in Turkish flicks, resembling a big version of those walking toys, which is destroyed by somebody chucking a stone at it; green-painted alien beings; the worst model spaceship since, well, ever and plenty more besides.Square-jawed actor John Richardson carved a career out of these movies and he's as wooden as they come. The rest of the cast aren't much better. Yanti Somer appeared in even more, probably because she looks so good in her tight-fitting costumes. But if awful acting, stilted dubbed dialogue, appalling direction and the worst SFX seen in a film are your cup of tea, then by all means give COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS a go!

Robert J. Maxwell It's true that this is a shoestring, dubbed, Italian move about a space ship that discovers a planet ruled by robots. It's true that it was released in the same year as "Star Wars." It's true that the special effects are risible. We have to add, though, that the babes in their body suits don't look so terrible. And the electronic music, though not nearly so inventive, reminds us of "Forbidden Planet." The model here was clearly not "Star Wars" but "Star Trek." The uniforms are similar, the acting ligneous, the plot formulaic -- you land on a strange planet and find its inhabitants in some situation resembling one that Earthlings might be facing in a few years, or already have faced.I couldn't sit through the whole thing, but younger kids might enjoy it. It's not very challenging, and it's colorful and has a lot of motion. What would a kid care if a space ship was obviously a miniature dangling from a couple of wires? For adults, if you really intend to watch it, may I suggest that you chemically alter your brain before the experience? Well, maybe it doesn't matter. If you don't do it yourself, this Grade Z movie is likely to do it for you.