Unlimitedia Sick Product of a Sick System

BelSports This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

Arianna Moses Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

Fatma Suarez The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

Claudio Carvalho After eating his beloved girlfriend, the vampire Vic Weller (Paul Popowich) admits that has a problem and joins a 12-step program called "Vampires Anonymous" to get rid of the habit of drinking human blood. He goes to a meeting and is submitted to a test, where it is determined that he should replace human by sheep blood. His sponsor Geno (Michael Madsen) and the program relocate Vic to Rock Creek, in North Caroline, where he falls in love for the local Maggie Miller (Nicole Forester). However, the disappearance of sheep attracts the attention of a vampire slayer and the police, getting Vic into trouble."Vampires Anonymous" is an enjoyable film, with an analogy to the AA for vampires in an original story. There is dark humor, romance and many funny situations. This movie is neither a masterpiece nor a crap, just a pleasant entertainment. My vote is six.Title (Brazil): "Vampiros Anônimos" ("Vampires Anonymous")

Paul Andrews Vampires Anonymous starts in Los Angeles where Vampire Vic Weller (Paul Popowich) needs help controlling his addiction to blood so he calls Vampires Anonymous who run a twelve step program for Vampires. A program designed to make Vampires not want to drink human blood & be there if they need help or are having trouble, the first step is apparently to 'admit you have a problem' & ends with 'smile, your a winner!' although there's lots of hard work & temptation to overcome between. Vic gets packed of to Rock Creek, North Carolina where he has to blend in with the locals & feed on the blood of sheep but Vic finds it hard to suppress the Vampire within himself...Co-written, co-produced & directed by Michael Keller I have to say right off the bat that I hated Vampires Anonymous., of course this is just my opinion & I'm in no way saying that you will definitely hate it but I think there's a fair chance the majority of potential viewers will find much more to hate in Vampires Anonymous than like. The script by Keller & J.P. Srinivasan is the biggest problem here, again this is just my opinion but I thought it was terrible. Vampires Anonymous is supposed to be some sort of light hearted comedy horror romance with a pinch of biting satire about therapy groups & psychiatric help thrown in there for good (bad?) measure. If that basic story outline makes you laugh then you may enjoy Vampires Anonymous but I thought it was an awful attempt at trying to be clever & funny & different, Vampires Anonymous is one of the most unfunny comedies I've ever seen & the makers can't even pull off a good sheep shagging farmer joke. The genre of horror comedy is very hard to pull off & the makers of this fail in spectacular fashion, the horror elements are none existent, the romance is so cheesy & predictable I almost threw up & it took me four sittings of twenty odd minutes each to get through this because I literally couldn't get through it one go.Director Keller turns in a competent film & that's the only reason this turd gets two stars out of ten rather than one. It's not scary, it's definitely not funny, there's no tension, it's utterly predictable, the story is all over the place, the character's are unlikable, the dialogue sucks & I found it a real chore to sit through. I didn't like it. At all. Forget about any gore, there's a couple of neck bitings & a bit of blood drinking otherwise nothing. No nudity either. According to the closing credits Vampires Anonymous was edited by the interesting named Farm Dog, either that it was was literally edited by a farm dog.Technically the film is fine & is really the only positive aspect of it but since it sucks so bad in every other way does it really matter? Shot in Burlington in North Carolina apparently, I doubt this is going to do much for the tourist numbers though. I have some advice for Michael Madsen, get a new agent considering some of the crap he's been in. I mean from the classy Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) to this as his next film?! Having said that the quotes 'I probably made a few pictures I shouldn't have done, but I have four sons and I have to pay the rent. If you have a decision to make about whether or not you can buy groceries at the market or whether or not you're going to make a bad movie, you're going to make a bad movie.' & 'My career has been very strange. My career is like a heart monitor. I get involved in a good project now and then to keep things going. And then I make things that I work on that I hope are going to be good so I can make a living and keep a roof over the heads of those little monsters I have in my house. You know, every movie you make can't be great, no matter who you are. Even Brando made some clinkers.' from his page on the IMDb explains why he makes rubbish like Vampires Anonymous. We all have to pay the rent I suppose.Vampires Anonymous sucks as much as the Vampires in the film, I'm sorry but I really disliked every aspect of the story & found it so unfunny & moronic it's untrue. If your looking for biting satire go elsewhere, if your looking for some laughs go elsewhere, if your looking for some horror go elsewhere & if your looking to be entertained go elsewhere.

Molly Celaschi (carlykristen) After giving up his cravings and murdering his own girlfriend, Vic joins Vampires Anonymous to try and kick the habit. He relocates, goes through a 12-step program, and survives off sheep blood. Things get complicated when the locals complain about their dwindling sheep flocks. A would-be cop named Diesel starts investigating the strange occurrences, while a corporate vampire hunter closes in on Vic as well.Generally, I do not like vampire films because they seem to copy one another and are rarely ever scary. And while this one wasn't scary by any means, it was at least interesting by putting a new spin on an old subgenre. This featured a clever script with many in-jokes. I particularly liked the parallels of Vic's hunger for blood and Diesel's need for alcohol. These urges hold back both characters in different ways. Whether either character can overcome their flaws affects the outcome of the film.There is a lot of fun to be had here too. Michael Madsen plays Geno, Vic's program partner and confidante. Neil D'Monte plays Juan Rodrigo, a lovelorn vampire, doing a spot-on impression of Antonio Banderas. Small animals are "snack food" at the VA meetings, Vic reads "CosmoVamp" magazine, vampires get silicone poisoning after biting Swedish Bikini girls with breast implants, and while attempting to bleed a sheep, Vic is mistaken for a sheep f*cker by a redneck farmer.The ending culminates into a cool showdown with Vic, his lady, and the vampire hunter running through a haunted house. It was pretty funny watching them push around the clueless people that mistook them for either employees using fake scare tactics or customers looking for some scares.The sound and film quality were pretty good. They used several real animals like mice, birds, and sheep. The SFX were good when used. However, this was a comedy, so there was minimal gore. The vampire teeth looked realistic as opposed to the plastic ones I have seen used in other films.Favorite Quote: Vic to Maggie, "It's because I'm a vampire, isn't it? Are you afraid they won't let you in the sorority? Afraid they'll whisper, There goes the vampire-f*cker?" DVD Extras: Sadly, there were none! Only Scene Selections all by it's lonesome. I suggest a Special Edition re-release featuring commentary and Behind the Scenes footage.Bottom Line: Refreshingly original take on the Vampire subgenre. Huge on laughs, but lacking in scares.Rating: 7/10 Molly Celaschi www.HorrorYearbook.com

keh19-1 So, I watched this movie, and I have to admit that there is this one extra who walks through the scene atleast four times. He's sexy. And that's why I am going to watch the movie again and again. His hair is kind of poofy. And he's probably 16 in the movie, but hey it was in production awhile ago. So he's got to be almost 20 now. Wow, if I could just meet him that would be the best experience ever. Watch the movie just for this heart throb. And then watch again. I suggest using the pause button for his scenes. This movie could be improved if they showed the hot extra more often. In fact, I think that it should think about perhaps doing an updated revision to the film to eliminate everyone else's roles and just let this guy be in the whole movie. Girls across the country would flock to it. It would be hotter than NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Mr. Big, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and Heath Ledger all in one movie at the same time.