Forumrxes Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

Usamah Harvey The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

Arianna Moses Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

Caryl It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties. It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

Woodyanders Seven strangers are forced to relate their most terrifying personal stories after they find themselves trapped inside the infamous House of Horrors while embarking on a movie studio tour.First, most kinky, and delightfully outrageous yarn, "The Girl with Golden Breasts" -- Leave it to unabashed reprobate Ken Russell to milk wickedly funny dark comedy gold out of the hilariously ludicrous premise of an insecure struggling actress (yummy Rachel Veltri) who winds up getting killer vampire breast implants. The loopy satiric potshots at dangerous surgical enhancements and Hollywood's obsession with superficial appearances are simply spot-on, plus Russell himself pops up as a mad doctor sporting his own pair of lethal boobs (!).Second and most eerie vignette, "Jibaku" -- Director Sean S. Cunningham does an ace job of crafting an extremely creepy and morbid atmosphere that's highlighted by a truly unnerving sex scene between the fetching Lara Harris and a hideous decomposing spirit. In addition, the cool animation offers a wealth of striking visuals and the descent into hell rates as a genuinely harrowing corker.Third and best tale, "Stanley's Girlfriend" -- Director Monte Hellman's terrific 50's mood period piece not only serves as a lovely cinematic ode to legendary director Stanley Kubrick, but also brims with significant sexual tension thanks to the gorgeous Amelia Cooke's sensuous and magnetic portrayal of the alluring, yet enigmatic Nina. Spiffy surprise ending, too.Fourth and weakest anecdote, "My Twin, the Worm" -- While director John Gaeta pulls off a few squirm-inducing moments of Cronenbergian body horror, the story for this one comes across as pretty slight and hence dissatisfying, with a weak fizzle for a conclusion.Director Joe Dante makes neat use of a sprawling and rundown spooky old abode in the immensely entertaining wraparound segments. Moreover, Henry Gibson has a marvelously demented ball as a sinister tour guide, the always awesome John Saxon does his customary stellar work as washed-up has-been director Leo, and Dick Miller even has a brief, yet still welcome bit as security guard Max. Dennis Bartok's affectionate script shows a winning wholehearted affinity for such vintage 70's Amicus omnibus affairs as Tales from the Crypt and Vault of Horror. A super fun frightfest.

movieman_kev Six people are taking a tour of Ultra Studios when they get trapped in a haunted house (that's not usually on the tour, but they have VIP passes). They.along with their tour guide, have some horror stories to tell in the hopes of breaking free from the house somehow.Phoebe is first and opts to tell the story of how she got implants from a human cadaver in order to help advance her movie career. But these tits are hungry for flesh. Directed by Ken Russell, this segment was slightly over the top and fun (in a rather stupid way), but didn't really go anywhere and had a non-ending. It came off like a disregarded idea from that Playboy awful "Inside Out" series from the '90's.Next up is married couple, Julia and Henry, who tell the tale of their trip to Japan and an ill-fated painting that leads to a Buddhist monk who possesses the wife, driving her crazy. Aside from some nifty animation toward the end of this Sean S. Cunningham directed short, I couldn't help but feel underwhelmed by this one.Leo (the great John Saxon) gets to tell the third story, of him and his friend, Stanley. With parallels to Stanley Kubrick's early career (not the supernatural tinge to it obviously) this was the most interesting of the quintet of stories that comprised the film. But it's a bit on the dry side and doesn't really fit in with the other four stories in the least. Also since this tale can be seen apart from this film in other places, I'd recommend that rather than sitting through this whole film merely for this one part.Lastly, a tale is told of Nathalie and her 'twin', a parasitic worm, whom she has a strong bond with. The saved the worst for last it seemed (excluding the lame endings to each tale provided at the end of the film) as this story is trite, boring & uninteresting. The less said of it the better.This sad little anthology concludes with the lame wraparound that can be guessed from the start it's so predictable.Eye Candy: Rachel Veltri gets topless; Lara Harris provides the T&A My Grade: DDVD Extras: 'filmmakers & cast' commentary; 13 & a half minutes of deleted scenes;the director's cut of 'Staneley's Girlfriend'; the original cut of 'girl with golden Breasts'; A look inside featurette (divided into 5 parts) and trailers for the Midnight Meat Train, Bone Eater, Side Sho, the Bank Job, the Eye, & Rambo

dschmeding I don't know why but I used to be a huge fan of Creepshow and Tales from the crypt although the later series were rather lame. "Trapped Ashes" is very much in this tradition and features 4 horror shorts bound together in a surrounding plot of 2 couples and 2 solo people going on a sightseeing on a Hollywood movie site and getting stuck in an hold horror house with an old guy who leads them around. Turns out they can only leave if each tells their most frightening personal story... so here we go... Story 1 is about an actress who doesn't get any new jobs and decides to get a boob job. Now after her life turns around for the positive she soon realizes that her breast are vampire boobies feeding on human blood which doesn't go to well for her lovers. This story is pretty bizarre and trashy and captures the spirit of old "Tales from the crypt" stories best. Its totally idiotic but the end is so over the top its fun. Story 2 is a ghost-story about a couple moving to Japan where the woman is seduced by a monk who dies and takes her to hell where she turns into a succubus. Her husband soon learns he has to free her from there by feeding her a spell. The story is OK, but as frightening or thrilling as a Sesamestreet Episode. At least you get some naked shots and some nice animation sequences of old Japanese paintings which work pretty well. Story 3 is pretty much nothing leading nowhere. An actor and his best friend a scriptwriter regularly meet for chess until a girl appears. Soon the scriptwriter disappears and the actor begins a love affair to find out years later that the girl is some kind of ghost/witch/vampire... honestly I couldn't care less because the episode is boring and makes no sense. Story 4 is another strange one about a girl who grows up in her mothers womb along with a tapeworm and lives with a strange desire for collecting food for her "twin". When she is treated badly by her stepmother the "twin" takes revenge.What most of the stories suffer from is incredibly long passages of introducing of characters and that is way stretched and often even unnecessary for the plod. So when the action starts most of the time is up and there is not too much time for the horror to happen. Like most of those story collections there is some bad apples in there and I couldn't recommend this average movie just for the vampire boobies and the finale. This is just for real die hard fans of horror shorts... the slow ghost movies won't be too interesting for neither "Tales..." Fans nor others because they don't lead nowhere. Too bad...

Darryl Shaw Okay so maybe I'm a wimp or maybe I had legitimate medical reasons for fainting, but the fact is I do watch tons of horror films, volunteer regularly for a horror magazine, and this has never happened before. I should have fainted to Ichi the Killer, or Brain Dead, or f*ck, even the cockroach sequence in Creepshow- but no, the segment to knock me out was "The girl with the golden breasts" which was a story about this gorgeous chick who's boob implant goes horribly wrong. Following the episode I went to the doctor, got a blood test, EKG, had my blood pressure taken, a full out exam- and was told that I was probably dehydrated, my body type is lean and more susceptible. I was working crazy hours, attending midnight screenings, the theater was stuffy, and blah blah blah. I'm a guy who writes horror scripts! I've become jaded as a writer because I've found it increasingly hard to scare myself. I'd like to think I'm tougher than that, but damn. The feeling came on like dimensional twist- like I was fighting to stay in my body- my perspective was pulsing, disorientation followed, then the unfightable desire to go and splash some water on my face. I should have stayed in my seat. Instead, I went out to the lobby, came crashing down- busted open my eyebrow...and have no memory of the fall. To preserve my dignity- and see if it really was an epileptic thing, I attended the second screening, and am happy to say I survived- didn't faint or feel feverish throughout all the five stories, and enjoyed it quite a bit. I am totally into exploitation horror movies, and this one has plenty of it-- Though I would have liked to have seen more gore- the squeamish parts could have been expanded, made more sadistic, especially in the tape worm story-- the film as a whole reminded me of those old pulp EC horror comics I used to read as a kid. The lighting had echoes of Argento's Suspiria... The main score was effectively creepy, the director's styles were pretty varied adding some interesting textures to the whole, and I hope the people at Tales from the Crypt scoop up this team for another go at it- this time adding takashi miike to the roster to go full out into the lactating boob horror.