The Thirst: Blood War

2008
2.6| 0h30m| en
Details

Will is a hippie college student who finds himself in the middle of a battle between vampires and a group of warlocks called Sentries; but when he's bitten by a seductive vampire he's forced to come to terms with his new state of being

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Reviews

VividSimon Simply Perfect
MoPoshy Absolutely brilliant
ThedevilChoose When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.
PiraBit if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.
anxietyresister Wow, where do start with this pile of shiz..1. Who the hell plays on a PS1 in 2008?!2. Tony Todd has officially extinguished all the goodwill he mustered by playing the Candyman and Captain Sisco's dad. He isn't so much slumming it here as eating fish bones from the dumpster.3. This well oiled six-pack hunk in the lead might be able to fill out a white T-shirt, but an actor he ain't. Evertime he opens his mouth, you want to curl up in embarrassment. Oh. dear.4. Who writes this dialogue anyway? Someone call child labour on these producers: I think they're illegally employing a bunch of kindergärtners to do their screenplay for them.5. Where's the 'sexy seductress' promised in the plot synopsis? You don't mean the ugly old tart wrapped in cling-film, with more botox than Jane Fonda do you? Whoops.6. The fight scenes are ssoooo pathetic, they should play an instrumental of Kung Fu Fighting in the background, and pretend it's supposed to be a comedy.7. There is a highly camp black best friend who calls everyone dawgs and has a secret funky handshake with Mr Muscle. He might as well have STEREOTYPE tattooed on his head. But get this.. HE DOESN'T DIE. AMAZING.8. Tru Blood, Twilight, Vampire Chronicles.. ENOUGH ALREADY. Especially when the end result is as dismal as it is here.9. The Thirst: Blood War? That title.. SUCKS (Pun intended ho ho)10.Seriously guys.. what's the deal with the PS1?!The director is called Tom Shell, which is quite apt as you'll feel like a shell of a person after submitting yourself to this drivel. It also concludes with the threat of a sequel, to which I can only respond with the Wilheim Scream our hunk unleashes just before the end.It's probably started filming even now, after all it shouldn't take Mr Shell too long to muster up the 7 new pence and half a packet of wine necessary to complete production. And that would still be more than they spent on the original.. 2/10
Paul Andrews The Thirst: Blood War is set in modern day America where college teenagers Will (A.J. Draven) & Jayne (Allison Lange) decide they want to take their friendship to the next level & start dating, however local jock, bully & tough guy Darren (Cameron Zeidler) isn't happy about the nerdish hippie Will dating the hot Jayne & starts to make trouble. Late one night by a pond Darren attacks Jayne & Will comes to her rescue & in a struggle Will stabs & kills Darren who is in fact the son of a centuries old Monk sorcerer who calls himself a sentry & who are sworn to fight & kill Vampires. Now the head of the Vampire clan Julien (Tony Todd) has competition from his right hand man Cladius (Jason Connery) but the only way Claudius can snatch power from Julien is to kill a sentry & if he can't do that kill someone who did kill a sentry which is Will. Will & his friends are plunged into the ancient war between Vampires & sentry's...Known under the title Blood Wars on DVD in the US this was co-produced & directed by Tom Shell & I had a quick look through the IMDb user comments section & a couple of external reviews & I can't really find anyone who says anything good about The Thirst: Blood War which isn't too surprising since it's awful on every conceivable level. First off the title is a lie, there's very little blood in it & as far as I could tell no war either. The first thirty odd minutes of this focuses almost entirely on Will, Jayne & Darren & feels more like a teen soap opera than a horror film & when the horror elements do eventually kick in they are pretty lame with Will trying to be turned into a Vampire & a bit of bickering between Julien & Claudius to see who is harder but they both come across as wimps anyway & really don't put up much of a fight at a very weak climax. There's these Monks as well who total three & are able to shoot blue 'stuff' out of their fingers for no apparent reason, we are never really sure if there are more or not or where they came from or the story behind them & we are never really sure if Julien is head Vampire in the world or just his clan & there are other clans out there & apart from sit in a room he doesn't seem to do anything else & he has no plans or ideas & we don't really know if a Vampire bite turns you into a Vampire or kills you since at the start a bite will turn you into a Vampire but at the end it kills you so it's hard to care about anything as it doesn't make much sense, there's no threat or grand plan or anything to keep you watching really & I do not count three Monks & about half a dozen Vampires as a war, maybe I'm being too tough here but I just don't. To make matters worse the character's are one dimensional stereotypes, the dialogue is awful & at 100 odd minutes it's far too long & feels more 100 odd hours while watching it.There are no special effects in The Thirst: Blood War at all, none. All we get is a bit of blood on someones hands, some fake blood on some fake fangs & some fake blood pored onto someones neck. There's nothing in The Thirst: Blood Wars I couldn't stage myself with some fake blood & a camcorder, nothing. There's no nudity either. The film looks as cheap & low budget as they come with a very point & shoot look to it, the fight scenes are brief & contain no real excitement & the whole thing is just a tedious, dull mess of a film that feels like a cross between a teen angst film & a cheap Vampire flick but without the merits of either.The IMDb reckons The Thirst: Blood War had a $1,000,000 budget which I find hard to believe unless it went on Todd & Connery & if it did indeed have a million dollar budget than the film get even worse in my eyes as the production values are awful with most scenes shot outside on a random path or in front of a tree or something. How on Earth did the makers convince fine talent like genre favourite Tony Todd (who is dressed in an awful costume complete with cape) & the son of Sean Connery no less Jason to appear in this? I wonder if Jason has shown this to his dad & what the one time James Bond star thinks of it?The Thirst: Blood War is terrible, I haven't given a film a lowly one star rating in a while but this throughly deserves it. One to avoid, even Vampire fans might find it hard sitting through this.
Neil Welch This film cost about ninepence, which is abundantly clear from what you see on screen. Make no mistake - you're not going to get production values.But you are going to get something which, from time to time, delivers a surprise and at least tries to be a bit different. The acting isn't great and the effects aren't very special, but it makes more of an effort than other films which do things strictly according to formula.It suffers from starting off as a comedy and finishing seriously - an internal inconsistency which it never really recovers from.But it's not fair to criticise it solely for being cheap tat - it can't help that, and it does at least try to be a bit more than that.
besus Action?? Where...? Comedy?? Well, they make a very very bad movie, worst then D movie, and too late, they saw what a mistake it was. What do they do then? Call it a Comedy!! Hahaha.. loooosers.Horror?? Come on.. 2 drops of blood on a neck!! F/x is totally worst then zero.Thriller?? lol!!!C. Thomas Howell and Tony Todd!! For example.. In this movie!! Don't ask me why or how, it's over my head. I'm tired of all this low budget, low serious 'horror' movies. Why not try to make a good movie for a change...? I recommend Hatchet and Feast instead...!! // Cheers