Solemplex To me, this movie is perfection.

Pluskylang Great Film overall

ThedevilChoose When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

Geraldine The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

Woodyanders Vicious hoodlum David (a marvelously ruthless portrayal by Andy Serkis) and his bumbling wimp brother Peter (ably played to the sniveling hilt by Reece Shearsmith) decide to abduct Tracey (a fabulously feisty performance by Jennifer Ellison), who's the abrasive and foul-mouthed daughter of a powerful mobster. However, things don't go as smoothly as planned.Writer/director Paul Andrew Williams keeps the entertainingly off-center story moving along at a zippy pace, mines lots of laughs from a wickedly funny sense of pitch-black humor, delivers a few dandy and surprising macabre twists, and tops everything off with a handy helping of excessively gruesome gore. Serkis and Shearsmith display a winningly spiky chemistry as a pair of radically contrasting siblings; their spiky rat-tat-tat-tat sarcastic exchanges are an absolute hoot to behold. Steven O'Connell also excels as hopelessly inept bag man Andrew while Doug Bradley has a nice bit as a suspicious villager and Steven Beroff pops up in a cracking cameo at the very end. The sharp cinematography by Christopher Ross makes inspired use of the widescreen format. Laura Rossi's jaunty barnstorming score hits the spirited spot. A good'n'ghoulish blast.

markhaazen This is a surprisingly entertaining film. It shows what a bunch of good actors and producers can do on a budget. Nowhere near as gory as some and the plot has been done to death a thousand times but when the gore comes it is really surprisingly well done and will make you jump out of your skin at times. Well worth the money and one to watch more than once. Miss Ellison is a delight. Hilarious Comedy mixed with blood & gore, I think the cast must have had a real job to keep a straight face during filming, especially the scene with David and the bumbling idiot character, Andrew. (re the bottle opener, and the balaclava).... What comedy genius!THIS FILM TRULY IS A GEM!!

tmccull52 "The Cottage" isn't going to win any major motion picture awards, but I have to admit, it was more entertaining than I thought it would be.A darkly humorous slasher flick that doesn't take itself too seriously. it's worth seeing if you're looking for an amusing diversion. I've yet to see Andy Serkis turn in a sub-par performance in any film he's appeared in, and he does not disappoint in his portrayal as David, one of a pair of brothers who have kidnapped the daughter of a criminal kingpin. Reece Shearsmith, who plays the other brother, Peter, also gives a decent performance, particularly in the scenes where he interacts with the kidnapping victim, Tracy.For me, Jennifer Ellison's turn as Tracy made the movie. Profane, brassy, and sarcastic as Hell, she gives her abductors all that they can handle, particularly Peter, and then some. If there was one character in the movie that I was rooting for to survive the eventual massacre, it was her. Alas, she was slain by the hideously disfigured serial killer, known only as the Farmer about three quarters of the way through the movie."The Cottage" is gory enough for fans of slash and hack films, and it definitely has it's humorous moments. If you're looking for pure, unrelenting horror like "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", this may not be your movie. But if you're not terribly fussy, you may just find this to be a worthwhile film.

Scott LeBrun Things just won't go right for David (Andy Serkis) and his brother / reluctant partner-in-crime Peter (Reece Shearsmith). They've kidnapped Tracey (Jennifer Ellison), the daughter of an underworld kingpin, but, just to name one of their problems, their victim is awfully feisty and foul-mouthed. As things start to unravel, the characters end up going for a little stroll and end up in the domain of a deformed farmer (Dave Legeno) whose back of the beyond abode features the appropriate number of macabre touches.It's appreciable the way that this movie switches from dark crime comedy / farce to backwoods horror. Yet, commendably, writer / director Paul Andrew Williams keeps up the comedic tone all the way through the "horror" portions. It feels that he is poking gentle fun at trappings of the rural horror genre and the movie is all the better for it. Also, one of the most effective components of "The Cottage" is its cast of characters, their idiosyncrasies, and the way they interact with each other. For one thing, the very meek and mild Peter, an unlikely criminal indeed, who's dominated by his rather large wife, has a debilitating fear of moths.Serkis, better known as the motion capture specialist behind such characters as Gollum from the "Lord of the Rings" series, King Kong, and Caesar from "Rise of the Planet of the Apes", is terrific as the shady yet still rather likable David. He and Shearsmith share great chemistry and are believable as odd couple brothers. The energetic Ellison is a delight as she tries to cut her captors down to size. Steven O'Donnell is also fine as poor, bumbling Andrew; it's a real treat to see Doug "Pinhead" Bradley as the villager with the dog, this movie's equivalent of the "crazy old guy with a warning" character we've seen in movies such as "Friday the 13th".The movie is deliciously gory at times, and hysterical at the same time, as even the very violent bits of business are often played for laughs. (This also extends to the "It ain't over yet!" coda inserted after the closing credits.) When one gets a load of the farmer, it's just too hard not to laugh. This is a genuinely fun movie that moves along well to a priceless resolution.Steven Berkoff appears uncredited at the very end.Eight out of 10.