FeistyUpper If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

Intcatinfo A Masterpiece!

Senteur As somebody who had not heard any of this before, it became a curious phenomenon to sit and watch a film and slowly have the realities begin to click into place.

Dana An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

azathothpwiggins Neil and Arlene Glynn (Dennis Weaver and Estelle Parsons) and the kids, Deedee and Steve (Susan Dey and Kristoffer Tabori) are en route to the beach for a camping weekend. Oh no! A group of hellish hippies runs them off the road! It doesn't end there, as these hairy hellions are persistent. Neil is a bit of a milquetoast, wanting to just let it go, while his son seems to see trouble brewing. We also learn that the Glynn family is under some strain of their own. They're busy trying to come to grips w/ growing up / older. Once at the beach, all seems well, but the hipsters are nearby! Soon, the true mayhem begins. How will the Glynns cope w/ this danger? TERROR ON THE BEACH is a made-for-TV movie that plays on the fear of young, crazed, cult-types, in the wake of such things as the Manson Family murders. It tackles the generation gap as well, w/ the discourse between the parents and offspring representing what was happening then (1973). As for the ne'er do wells, they're fairly intimidating, though their eeevil hi jinks seem mostly sophomoric and absurd. Still, they have their moments. It's almost like watching a strange hybrid of THE HILLS HAVE EYES and any juvenile delinquent film from the 50's / early 60's- w/ dune buggies! I do admit to enjoying the way the Glynns -finally- fight back! A fun, silly romp through the sand...

Robert J. Maxwell At the beginning of this TV movie we see a minivan tooling along a wooded road. The driver is Dennis Weaver, decked out in mustache, pipe, and black-rimmed glasses. Later, a bad guy will call Weaver "Mister Whitebread" and Weaver will respond with a bemused expression. With Weaver in the bus are his blue-eyed wife (Estelle Parsons), his politely rebellious teen-aged son (Kristoffer Tabori) and his virginal daughter "DeeDee" (Susan Dey).The first lines come from Weaver, who happily orders his family to hold their breaths, then -- "Alright, everybody, now BREATHE! Smell that fresh air?" In the passenger's seat is young Tabori, to whom Weaver makes some remark about college. Tabori says that he's old enough "to stand on my own two feet", and he'd like to make his own decisions and not just be ordered around anymore. I can't quite describe his delivery of these machine-processed lines. Let me just say that, at first, I thought he was joking. He rolls his eyes and speaks metrically, as if he knows that the lines are so formulaic that they deserve nothing but parody. But no -- the fact is that the kid is serious. He just can't act.The first ten minutes all boded pretty ill and I began to wonder, "Why am I watching this, again?" Then Susan Dey appeared in tight, Chinese red, short shorts and I remembered.I don't want to get into the plot in any detail. A bunch of hooligan kids show up in hot rods and an old fire engine and harass the Whitebread family, humiliating them, insulting them, damn near wrecking their vehicle, finally driving them off the road, although there isn't a moment's doubt that they'll be back.The Whitebreads set up a tent next to their bus on the beach and the hooligans reappear, apologetic but obviously insincere. Dennis Weaver's attitude towards them is, "Well, they're just some kids havin' fun and let's not get hysterical." Estelle Warren frankly doesn't trust them. As they ogle Susan Dey in her tiny swimsuit, she acts half haughty and half flirtatious, offering them beers, evidently not knowing that the name of this movie is "Terror On The Beach." It's on right now and I guess I'll go back and finish watching it. I don't want to miss the inevitable scene in which the goons corner DeeDee in the woods and threaten to make her feel good.In judging whether or not you should bother watching this, you might ask yourself, "Self, have you seen 'Hot Rods to Hell' or 'Duel'?" You should ask this because the plot is essentially ripped off from the former and Dennis Weaver's character is a variation on his constantly noodged driver in the latter. This isn't nearly as good as the other two -- both of which I enjoy beyond the bounds of logic -- but it's similar enough because of its stolen elements that you might get a kick out of it. In any case, if you decide to watch it, it will help if your brain has been subject to chemical alteration.

Michael_Elliott Terror on the Beach (1973) ** 1/2 (out of 4) Interesting, if at times frustrating, made-for-TV thriller has Dennis Weaver (DUEL) taking his family to the beach for a couple days of camping but the family comes under attack by some hippies. The father wants to play everything cool hoping that the thugs will just leave them alone but one attack after another happens until the family must do something to protect themselves. At just 73-minutes there's really no room for any sort of character development but that's not a major negative. What does hurt the film is that the movie would pretty much be over at the ten-minute mark but the only way it can keep going is by characters being complete idiots. The father here has to take the top award for dumbest movie dad in the history of cinema because all of the terror his family goes through could have been avoided. After the first two attacks it would be clear to anyone to leave but not this dad. He keeps his family there for a third, fourth and even more attacks until it becomes too late to try and escape. This is the part of the film that is rather frustrating. In terms of a thriller there are a few very good moments including the first night scene when the family learns that they're not alone. The dark beach makes for a very good setting and the director is able to milk some nice suspense out of the scene. Weaver turns in a pretty good performance even though at times the screenplay doesn't benefit him any. His "good guy" act at times seems to be an impersonation of W.C. Fields but the actor is believable in the role. Estelle Parsons (BONNIE AND CLYDE) plays the wife, Kristoffer Tabori the son and an extremely cute Susan Dey is the daughter. I do wonder which films influenced this one. It does have a lot in common with HOT RODS TO HELL but it also has a similar theme to "revenge" movies like STRAW DOGS. It's interesting that the father here refuses to fight back in hopes that everything will work out and this does make for an interesting decision towards the end of the film. Those wanting violence are going to be pretty disappointed as the film tries to be the opposite of stuff like STRAW DOGS and THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT. I'd also wonder how much of an influence this had on Wes Craven's THE HILLS HAVE EYES as the two films share quite a bit. With that said, fans of TV movies or thrillers will probably want to check this one out if they have some time to kill. It's certainly not a masterpiece but there are enough interesting ideas to make it worth viewing.

lazarillo I remember this one from when it played on TV when I was about five, but I saw it again recently on the Fox Channel. Dennis Weaver is the main star playing basically the same role he played in "Duel"--a mild-mannered, middle-aged guy whose manhood is tested when he suddenly finds himself in an escalating, completely irrational conflict--except that instead of facing a psychotic truckdriver, Weaver this time is menaced by a bunch of annoying hippies. He also has his whole family with him, so the movie is also similar to both the earlier "Hot Rod to Hell" and the later "The Hills Have Eyes", except that instead of JD hotrodders or crazed cannibals the villains are, uh, a bunch of annoying hippies. And that's the problem. These guys are not exactly the Manson family--all they do is eat the family's food, shake their camper, make strange sound effects with stereo equipment, and do weird things with mannequins. Basically, they "freak the squares." But since the movie is told entirely from the point of view of the "squares" who are being "freaked", it's all ridiculously melodramatic and reactionary. There is no real violence and no sex (although it does feature a young Susan Dey in a bikini). Oh well, what do you expect from a crappy 70's TV movie?