SunnyHello Nice effects though.

BoardChiri Bad Acting and worse Bad Screenplay

ShangLuda Admirable film.

Maidexpl Entertaining from beginning to end, it maintains the spirit of the franchise while establishing it's own seal with a fun cast

mrturk182 If the 1990s have taught us anything, it's that basketball players can't act. Michael Jordan bombed with critics in Space Jam, and Shaquille O'Neal flopped in Kazzam and Steel. But nowhere is this theory supported majorly than in Simon Sez.This is an action comedy that serves as the second major acting credit for former Chicago Bulls player Dennis Rodman. His prior appearance was in 1997's Double Team, alongside Jean-Claude Van Damme. For a terrible action flick, it did get points for a climactic coliseum showdown, complete with Coca-Cola product placements. You're better off watching that again than this movie, in which an Interpol agent named Simon (Rodman) is given an assignment to rescue a close friend's daughter, Claire Fence (Natalia Cigliuti). Assisting him in his quest are two cyber monks and his sidekick Nick Miranda (Dane Cook).Dennis Rodman's acting is just like what we've seen from him in Double Team. In other words, it's another acting attempt by an NBA superstar. To his credit, though, he's actually the best actor in this movie. Now, it's not signaling a good performance, but it's a huge compliment in comparison to his co-star, Dane Cook. With Simon Sez as the second movie he's ever done, Dane Cook is best known as a stand-up comedian who's had more acting credits than his co-stars overall. Now, he's way better as a stand-up comedian than he is an actor. He did have some good movies like Horton Hears a Who and Dan in Real Life. However, he is totally obnoxious in this movie. His idiotic comic relief character even makes Dennis Rodman look like Marlon Brando. There are more terrible comedy acting where that came from. There's also Micro (John Pinette) and Macro (Ricky Harris) as the two cyber monks, which is actually defined in Webster's as "unfunny computer nerds that spend too much time playing Dungeons & Dragons in their mom's basement". These comedic characters are all written in the most unnatural way possible. They're not just bad. They're annoyingly bad.This is an action comedy that heavily borrows from better films like 48 Hours, Beverly Hills Cop and Rush Hour, except in an agent theme. It also tries to come off as an action film when it completely feels like a comedy film. And when the plot and action kicks in, the movie suddenly goes on autopilot. They make the storyline and development so uninteresting, that it's not even on the same level as the awfulness in the first act. Although, you probably stopped caring about this movie after you're introduced to Cook, Pinette and Harris.In terms of action comedy, Simon Sez is sterile and boring as an action flick and even worse as a comedy. Dennis Rodman gives a better acting performance than he does in Double Team. Yet overall, Simon Sez is not only the worst movie to star an NBA player, but it's also bar none the worst movie to come out of the 1990s.Score: 0/100Recommendation: None

bob the moo We all have had jobs where we are only there for the wage and have no allusion that it is a terrible job and that some day we will do better, but for now this will do. Well, I cannot imagine that filmmakers are any different and, as such, Simon Sez must have been one of the films where, eventually, everyone was just clocking in to get the job done, without any allusions about what a terrible piece of junk they were involved in. It is not any one thing about it that makes it terrible so much as, well, everything. The plotting is pretty poor to being with in general sweep down to the detail. Well, actually that is not fair because I suppose the overall kidnap plot could MAYBE have been turned into something good if every aspect of it was not so badly done. It isn't just the silly cars with parachutes built into them, or the stupid fight scenes but just how generally incoherent and cheap the whole mess feels.This feeds over into the characters which are either lazy clichés delivered in basic terms or, worse, embarrassing "comedy" characters that are as funny as being on fire. Of course we have all see "bad" films which are enjoyable because the action scenes work in big fun ways and I guess Simon Sez was never going to produce tension so this was the way to go. However it is never fun and instead the action sequences just feel so incredibly poor, like director Elders just thought pointing the camera at people firing guns or jumping around would be enough, which it isn't. The cast are perfect for this and they are roundly terrible. Rodman is a massive stiff board of a man without any of the fluid movement he showed in the NBA at his best and certainly none of the passion – he is the charisma version of dark matter. Dane Cook is worse though because he tries really hard. Now, I kinda like his goofy performances in other things but here he is given sh1t to work with and he performs accordingly with an unfunny and irritating character – his "get prehistoric" doesn't get shaken from the memory easily either it is so bad. None of the rest of the cast can do anything but one does have to give special mention to the unimaginative "comedy monks" who are painfully unfunny (Pinette and Harris) and the effete bad guy who is useless as a central villain.Simon Sez is a terrible film. It is not even a "bad" film with a bit of fun or action about it because the cheap and nasty production standards and poor ideas conspire to leave anything of value on the screen at any point. Those picking on Rodman as if it is all his fault are missing the point – everyone is to blame here because nothing about it is good. Not the direction, the scoring, the stunts (terrible wire-work), the acting, the dialogue, the story – nothing. It is a terrible waste of space whose only memorable thing is just how insulting to the viewer it is.

StripedFermata Overall, the acting is poor, the script is worse, and the stuntman would have done better to not have had a bungee cord attached when jumping off the bridge. However, there is a bit of this movie that critics tend to overlook.Where the rest of the acting is shabby and forced, Jerome Pradon (Ashton) comes out on top. Though he's been given a poorly developed character and a worse script to read from, Pradon rises from the proverbial ashes that is Simon Sez. Overlooking anything that has to do with anyone else involved in making this horrific movie Pradon's acting is as brilliant as can make do.Bottom line? I would suggest this movie if you are a Pradon fan...otherwise -go take the dog for a walk...or something.

MovieAddict2016 Get this: Dennis Rodman is an Interpol agent (ha!) living in the cellar of a French monestary with two monk buddies (one fat, one black) who try to battle an evil diabolical villain who plans to use some kind of computer chip thingy to arm a weapon so he can blow up the world (or whatever it is mad movie villains like to do).This movie is SO LAME! I remember I was vacationing in Nags Head, North Carolina when Cinemax started airing ads for the film and presenting it as some kind of "great film." I thought it looked like total garbage but I watched it anyway, just to laugh at Dennis Rodman.Good god, it's bad. Is it EVER bad! It's got that distinct crazy directorial style all bad movies of today have - you know, everything's all crazy and over-the-top, ranging from coloring of sets and characters to plots to dialogue to action sequences.Some of this seems fairly reminiscent of that similarly awful Rodman movie named "Double Team," which co-starred Jean-Claude Van Damme (ha!) and Mickey Rourke (poor Mickey). But any movie with Rourke is at least tolerable...this is not tolerable in the least.Rodman gets my vote for being one of the worst actors of all time and this movie certainly fits his talents.