Rijndri Load of rubbish!!

Curapedi I cannot think of one single thing that I would change about this film. The acting is incomparable, the directing deft, and the writing poignantly brilliant.

PiraBit if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

Kien Navarro Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

mherrin-43253 River of Darkness: Written and directed by Bruce KoehlerI'm back folks with a cinematic masterpiece from the director of Endgame starring Kurt Angle when he was in TNA. This is part of a new journey into the world of cinema. I'm using suggestions from other people and reviewing in tandem with a friend of mine Roguish. This was my suggestion. I thought upon seeing the horrifically photoshopped poster that made the movie seem more like a cheapo action film that I had to see this. It's not an action film. It resembles what should be a horror film. It tries to scare you in the most rudimentary way possible. It has some make up effects but the camera used had to be a digital camera from the early 2000s.I have to make mention of this right off the bat because it's the first thing that catches you offguard. The look of the film, the camera work being done. Everything has this unusual haze about it like we're in some dream level. It also looks painfully cheap. I assume that's because the director spent all his money hiring Kurt Angle and couldn't afford a half way decent camera. The lights give off this harsh painful glare and cast deep shadows like having a spotlight shone directly on your face. I was confused right from the start.The other thing that bothered me was the inability of the movie to determine a time period. Things felt really anachronisitic. The diner had a 50s feel to it. The cabin the sheriff lived in felt more in tune with Grizzly Adams.But the biggest problem is the odd relationships between characters. Everyone treats the hero like complete garbage. He is the sheriff and he is desperately trying to solve these murders albeit in a rather relaxed manner. He doesn't seem to have any urgency about him and he routinely shows regular every day folks graphic crime scene photographs. It had me uttering in a quite audible level what the hell is going on.It has scenes that start and then go nowhere only to immediately pick a few moments later in a different location. It had me scratching my head and blathering like a buffoon at the path this story chose to go. It was the story of a wronged group of outcasts coming back from the grave to get revenge on the town who cast them to their graves. You know the plot of The Fog.This was a miserable experience. I should have known better considering this director made Endgame. All the problems that movie had, this movie still has. He has learned nothing in between films. I know better. I do. I'm not certain why I do this to myself. A certain degree of self loathing I suppose. I have to remind myself though to stay away from Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies. I can do this. I have faith in my resolution.I give this movie an F.

thegolgothashow ...the reason being that it was made at all. If your a wrestling fan looking for the novelty of seeing Kurt Angle, Sid Vicious and Kevin Nash outside of the ring then please realise....its not worth it. Nash and Sid are unrecognisable and rarely out of the darkness and Kurts acting is so appalling you will turn away and cringe so you wont see him much either.In fact if you doubt that fact check out the other movies starring Kurt. He's an unbelievable athelete and in my opinion the greatest all rounder in the history of wrestling but outside the the ring he falls apart and cannot be taken seriously.The acting is beyond awful, the special effects are preschool and the storyline is recycled. There is nothing good to say about this film and I hope all involved are ashamed of themselves.

tdeladeriere Dreadful acting throughout weigh down this moderately enjoyable slasher/ghost DTV. Undead victims of a smalltown lynching come back from the dead to take their revenge on the hicks responsible for their murder.Good production values and regular slashings help salvage this very uninspired offering. This was meant to cash in on wrestling fans, and to be honest, I've seen much worse movies, but God, the acting. And the lead is not entirely responsible, everybody here does an absolutely terrible job of conveying the simplest emotions. A woman who just lost her child to the undead is particularly amateurish, and one paranormal researcher looks ready for Skinemax. One of the zombies is a dead ringer for 'Dog' Chapman. If you're not regarding, this can entertain you for 90 minutes.

TheCornProject Do you love seeing your favourite WWF/WWE/TNA star battle it out against a bunch of hillbilly swamp-things? If you do, please hide your innocent mind from this giant regurgitated turd of a film...Do you want something to laugh at? Please just watch re-runs of "Friends"... Are you sadomasochistic & get pleasure out of the pain your eyes & ears experience when you watch a really horrible film? PLEASE I BEG YOU, SPARE YOURSELF FROM THIS HELL!Alright let me calm down & explain myself before you all think I'm going off on a tangent. The premise of this story is quite simply explained; a country town (by a river- go figure) suddenly becomes plagued with a series of unexplained slayings. This is where Kurt 'the wannabe rock' Angle steps in as the simpleton hick sheriff who is entrusted with the task of solving these brutal homicides as well as expressing deep emotions at key points & delivering the correct lines from his script on cue (much like his fake wrestling persona I suppose). Anyhow, our buff sheriff with his years of detective work finds himself with no other option but to walk around town brandishing the confidential & explicit crime scene photos to every dog & his aunt in hope of, of uhmm...a confession? Heck maybe he thinks he can get the truth out of one of those demonic redneck fisherman from I Know What You Did Last Summer? So as the plot progresses we find out that the bodies have carvings of the term "HIX" written on them (I would make a joke out of that but I can't be stuffed), anyway the sheriff finds out that this is the last name of a weirdo recluse named Harvey Hix who headed a group of vigilantes that murdered the Jacobs brothers, played by Kevin Nash & Psycho Sid Vicious (don't worry they have no real back story other than being two 6' 10" hobos who never had pro-wrestling careers to begin with).Actually I think that is a touch mean spirited comment by me, I should really praise all of those pro-wrestling fans out there who spend every waking moment of their lives supporting their heroes in films like this. Now enough of the sentiment & back to the plot; so the brothers have been summoned from their watery graves after 30 years because God makes rules about releasing souls after a set time so that they can exact their revenge on the townsfolk who had nothing to do with their deaths- much like how Jason Voorhees takes out his anger issues on those innocent teens at Camp Crystal Lake; actually no sorry my apologies, that exciting comparison is not what this film is like. So anyway that covers about 40 minutes into the plot & I basically daydreamed for the rest of the time so I can only assume that everything ended peacefully with enough room for a sequel.In the very least I think it's safe to class this film as a direct-to-VHS bargain bin trash-fest. However I think that summary is a little too classy & upbeat to truly summarise this seething pile of goat spew accurately. Believe me guys I have seen some bad films; if you don't believe me just look at the list of films I have already reviewed. The actors in an Ulli Lommel film give more heartfelt, genuine performances than most of the actors in this one. Even I struggled to get through it without needing to fast forward through the horribly stagnant dialogue. I have to say without a doubt that this film was the longest 80 minutes I have ever spent watching any film. Don't even buy it if it's the price of a nickel because that metal will be worth more to humanity in the long run than this will be in an eternity!0.5/5