BootDigest Such a frustrating disappointment

Jacomedi A Surprisingly Unforgettable Movie!

Guillelmina The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

Cristal The movie really just wants to entertain people.

Josh Myers (myrothe) This was the worst movie I've ever seen. The beginning was childish (and gross) and was totally unrelated to the film. The budget is beyond low. A guy in a 25 cent rubber monkey mask?, scenes shot in someones basement?I thought it might be good as a parody, but its not even smart enough to be that. Basiclly its a bunch of people (whos maturity stopped around age 12) trying to throw as many dick jokes as they can into a non existent plot.I mean this looks like a video a bunch of drunk teens made on a Friday night. I cant see enjoying a second of this unless you are seriously immature, and drunk. This is like a 3rd grade fart joke told over and over.Not even good enough to be enjoyed as a bad movie. Pathetic and shameful.

takatomon this film is the absolute WORST i've ever seen! i've seen some REAL stinkers too like Manos: The Hand of Fate, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Gymkata, Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women, They, War of the Robots, Robot Holocaust, Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy and Hercules in New York, to name a few, but this film is in a league all it's own! i'd previously considered Backwoods to be the absolute most hideous film with no redeeming values until i saw this steaming pile of doo.i actually LIKE cheesy movies and low budget parodies, but this is no Attack of the Killer Tomatos or Dark Star.basically, it's just a bunch of the most obnoxious suburban teenage jerks with a camcorder thinking they're funny and making a movie. it's supposed to be a parody of Lord of the Rings, but all it is is those obnoxious punks constantly talking about sex acts (with A lot of very sadistic mysogyny), using ebonics and in general acting like idiots.this is "toilet humor" taken to it's extreme and is not funny when that's all this cast is capable of. imagine a bunch of suburban junior high students who mouth off to their parents without ever being disciplined and you'll get an idea of the level these talentless morons operate on.if you think calling women nothing but "b####" constantly and talking about raping them, pouring acid in their eyes and then punching them in the stomach or pretending you're "straight outta da hood" for an hour and a half straight = parody, then watch this movie. otherwise, there's NOTHING else going on in it! it's that one dimensional.

satellitepictures I will say that this movie is probably the best one that has either Teen Ape or Bonejack in it. But before you go ahead and get your hopes up, let me tell you that every other movie they have out (under Low Budget Pictures) is horrible. The absolute worst. So with that in mind let's review this little romp in the woods. Chris Seaver has no talent, so keep that in mind. This film manages to be halfway funny because I have seen it last compared to his other films, which like I said before were horrible, unwatchable and just a bunch of friends getting together with no plot and making inside jokes to each other. The Goblin King is a recycled Filthy Mcnasty that actually works in this movie. Teen Ape is taken away from being one of 3 on screen due to other players, so that helps keep the crap level down. And Chris Seaver plays a dual role so Bonejack is kept at a minimum too. Leaving the rest of the flick to be not so bad. Not great or even good, but not so bad. A little more thought could have went into "sets", at one point the goblin king is on his thrown in which looks like someone's basement (I believe it is a barn though). C'mon guys, at least hide the buckets and crap! And at one point in the woods filming you can see a jogger in the background quite clearly without zooming in. The rest of the cast does a moderate job and the 2 elf girls provide some brief eye candy (they are cute girls). So if you MUST see something from Splatter or Low Budget Pictures, make this the ONE you see. You'll thank me. 1.5 out of 10

goriddle This entire video seems like one big long boring camcorder out take. Every joke is either stolen or incredibly lame. the costumes are unimaginative. the story is nonexistent. the special effects are crap. there is no action and the sets consist of a garage and a public park. the only redeeming quality is the wandering swordsman. these amateur/immature videographers have a lot to learn about medieval fantasy. lesson 1: throw away the stupid ape mask.