Comeuppance Reviews
Dolph Lundgren just may be the greatest living human. He can sing, dance, act, produce, direct, do martial arts, all while doing a rockin' drum solo. He excels in every sport he tries, and according to his bio, he received a Master's degree in chemical engineering from the University of Sydney in Australia and was awarded a Fulbright Scholarship to MIT. So he's light years away from his legions of meathead imitators.Keeping his Superman status in mind, here, in Pentathlon, Lundgren portrays Eric Brogar, a Pentathlete (yes, it's a real word), who is trained in East Germany pre-Berlin Wall falling to compete in the Olympics by tyrannical jerkbag Heinrich Muller. Muller wants to use him as an example of East Germany's greatness, but Brogar is actually a sensitive soul who wants more out of life. He loves America, so he risks it all to come to the USA, using the American Olympic team to help him. He thinks he escapes Muller's iron fist forever.Now in L.A., Brogar has hit the skids. He drinks, smokes, eats greasy food and lives in a dive. He even works in a greasy spoon. His boss John Creese (Mosley) is a kind, charismatic man that tries to get to know Brogar. When he discovers Brogar used to be a Pentathlete, he takes it upon himself to train him and get him back into shape for the Atlanta Olympics. Meanwhile, Brogar romances fellow Olympian Julia (Coleman). Things are starting to look up for Brogar, but then Muller, who now is the head of a neo-Nazi organization, tracks him down. Brogar must fight to protect what he now has, his bright future, from the shadows of his dark past. Can he use his Pentathlon skills to fight in real life? A Pentathlon is an Olympic event that consists of Shooting, Fencing, Swimming, Horse Riding and Cross-Country Running. Surprisingly, it took until 1994 for someone to make an entire movie around this concept. The natural choice for star was Ubermensch Dolph Lundgren. He's pitch-perfect as Brogar. It's impossible to imagine anyone else playing this role. But really, Pentathlon is a weird movie. It's pretty offbeat for a Lundgren/action film. It's sort of a sporting movie, with the pain of the Berlin wall experience thrown in, and some Nazis, and some romance, and some training, and Dolph fighting the baddies. It's certainly different. But in this case, different is good. We liked Pentathlon. It's not a cookie-cutter action flick. It strives for more, much like its hero Eric Brogar.We thought fencing movies started and ended with Ring of Steel (1994). But we were mistaken. Chapin's got nothing on Eric Brogar. David Soul is also great as the Nazi Muller. He really throws himself into the role and you hate him. He wants to crash the "Never Again" rally condemning Nazis and terrorists. Naturally the featured singer is some hippie singing "Peoplllleee are the saaammeee...." There is an inexplicable, hilarious scene in the greasy spoon featuring one of Muller's goons towards the end of the film. You'll know it when you see it - we don't want to give it away, but trust us, you'll be laughing. Hint: it involves a boombox.Pentathlon is surprisingly different for a Dolph vehicle. Check it out soon.
Frank Markland
Dolph Lundgren stars as an Olympic athlete who is looking to make his comeback. However not only does Lundgren face the hurdles of getting back in shape, quitting smoking and pulling himself out of a depression he also has to contend with a psychopath/neo-Nazi coach (David Soul) who is still obsessed with him after Lundgren defected years before. Dolph Lundgren is really one of the most inconsistent action stars in the business, for every enjoyable action flick he makes (The Punisher, I Come In Peace, Universal Soldier,Army Of One) there is more that are just plain terrible (Cover-Up, Masters Of The Universe, Red Scorpion) however in sheer dullness few of his titles live up to the painfulness of Pentathlon. I admit that the plot hints at some fun, with Lundgren facing a neo-Nazi army while training for the Olympics but sadly this is supposed to be character driven and in the hands of Lundgren, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that he's in way over his head. Lundgren tries extremely hard to make the part credible but he fails and instead contributes one of his worst performances to date. Lundgren of course can be effective mainly when he beats up on various bad guys but we instead get too many scenes of Lundgren soul searching and hence this is as dull as it gets. David Soul is amusing in the role, adding a wisp to his villainous scowl which almost makes up for the horrendous story but overall let's face it, placing him against Dolph Lundgren is nearly impossible and it's hard to believe that a director (Who helmed Nighthawks mind you!) could believe in the idea that a fight between Lundgren and Soul would even be close. Worst of all there is next to zero action, it's as if Lundgren wanted to try and act and despite his best efforts, one will never appreciate him for anything more than just providing mindless action and nothing else beyond that. Lundgren has a screen presence sure, but he's not a great actor so if you take away his ability to fight then it's no secret the movie is bound to be a disappointment.* out of 4-(Bad)
wellmansantee
Pentathalon is absolutely hilarious, Dolph definitely at his prime. So many ridiculous scenes from the trashcan window throw to Brogar run. I have gotten so much enjoyment from this film i feel i should pay Dolph. I am still curious as to why Dolph flushes the toilet after I think it's Offerman gets beat up over the toilet. Do not take this movies seriously though because its just worth it to actually think about it.Hutch from the old Starsky and Hutch is the old Nazi guy who you can't understand a single word he says because he is so crazy. Its also great because Bruce Malmuth stars in it as well in which he also wrote the story for. This was definitely the movie that made Dolph more passionate about making such hilarious films.
jddw
This has to be one of the worst films I ever watched. Actually, it was so painful, I could not bear to watch it all the way to the end. Now I know where Americans get the grey image of "communism" from. A completely unrealistic portrait of what life was like in East Germany!!!
