TaryBiggBall
It was OK. I don't see why everyone loves it so much. It wasn't very smart or deep or well-directed.
BelSports
This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.
Kien Navarro
Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.
lukem-52760
What a terrible mess it may as well be a loony tunes episode!!! The first film is Excellent & a revenge Action Thriller but this sequel is a STUPID spoof, just TERRIBLE
d-millhoff
Very few people can pull off making a deliberately-bad movie. It usually results in a ho-hum mess like a Killer Tomatoes sequel, or an insult like Two Idiots go to Hollywood. Robert Rodriguez is the rare exception. His half of the Grindhouse double-feature, Planet terror, was a delightful hodgepodge of hammy direction and acting, cheap special effects, over-the-top crazy violence, and grunged-up distressing to make the movie look like it's been played for years in third-run moviehouses with sticky floors and moist, smelly seats.Machete was a spinoff based on a fake commercial that, with hollywood's greatest septuagenarian badass Danny Trejo was just too good - and bad - not to follow through with a real movie.And the spinoff's sequel, Machete Kills, is even more batsh*t-bonkers crazy!Hilarious, campy, and riddled with cameos, you can just tell that everyone had a great time making this movie.I'm looking forward to the (hopefull for real) Machete Kills In Space.
slightlymad22
Continuing my plan to watch every Mel Gibson movie in order, I come to Machete Kills (2013)Plot In A Paragraph: The U.S. government recruits Machete (Danny Trejo) to battle his way through Mexico in order to take down an arms dealer (Gibson) who looks to launch a weapon into space.In nothing more than a glorified cameo (Playing a villain on screen for the first time) Gibson hams it up in full pantomime villain mode, playing essentially a Bond villain. We don't even see him until the hour mark. How you view Machete Kills will totally depend on your frame of mind when you watch it, and how you feel about B movies in general. I was in the mood for something silly, and I enjoyed it's craziness!! Like an Expendables movie, this is loaded with stunt casting that looks like they were filmed over a couple of days!! Jessica Alba, Vanessa Hudgens, Cuba Gooding Jr, Lady GaGa, a grown up Alexa Vega (who only has one line throughout the film, but what a bum she has!!) and Sofia Vergara and her double D's. It amused me to see Charlie Sheen credited under his real name, Carlos Estevez (He even has an "introducing" billing lol )Machete Kills tanked at the domestic box office, only grossing $7 million dollars. Which sadly ended the franchise before we got to see 'Machette Kills Again In Space' which is a shame as I thought it looked hilariously entertaining.
Bryan Kluger
"Machete don't tweet" is just one of the hilarious lines uttered by Danny Trejo's iconic character, Machete Cortez, in this new fun-as-hell sequel from Robert Rodriguez. If you pay attention, you might notice that Rodriguez has actually made a 'Star Wars' film with Machete in it this time around, complete with machete lightsabers, versions of carbonite and landspeeders, and characters similar to those in the 'Star Wars' universe. With an all-star cast and even more blood, guts and kills than the first one, this over-the-top sequel is highly entertaining.In this epic adventure, the President of the United States (Charlie Sheen, billed as "Carlos Estevez") calls up Machete to kill a Mexican drug lord named Mendez (Demian Bichir). Mendez suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder, and switches back and forth from being an evil drug kingpin, to a heroic revolutionary, to a secret agent. You never know what you'll get with him, but Bichir plays the character with gusto and hilarity. Mendez has implanted a device that remotely connects him to a nuclear warhead. If his heart stops, the missile will launch and hit Washington, DC. Machete accepts this mission when the President grants him U.S. citizenship and assigns him a handler in the form of a beauty pageant queen (Amber Heard) who has every weapon imaginable hiding beneath her gowns.As soon as Machete starts the mission, bad guys come out of the woodwork to kill him, including a top assassin known as the Chameleon, who changes disguises frequently and can look like Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Antonio Banderas or… Lady Gaga. After some guts are spilled and a few heads chopped off, Machete figures out that a multi-billionaire weapons mogul named Voz (Mel Gibson) is behind the entire scheme, and has big plans to destroy Earth and set up a new life in space.Does any of this make sense? No, but it sure is a hell of a lot of fun to watch. From Sofia Vergara's man-hating dominatrix who uses her boobs as weapons, to Machete swinging an enemy's intestines into the blades of a helicopter, you're in for something special with this sequel. Trejo has an impressive presence and owns the screen every time he's on camera, even if his monotone dialogue never has any emotion. The supporting cast around him rounds out this zany but brilliant action adventure. Yes, Michelle Rodriguez and her one eye show up again, and spill a lot of blood.This schlocky grindhouse material is what Rodriquez is great at. I can't wait to see the next chapter, teased in this one with a trailer called 'Machete Kills Again… In Space'.
