Lovesusti The Worst Film Ever

Cortechba Overrated

ChanBot i must have seen a different film!!

Ceticultsot Beautiful, moving film.

Ratty_Randnums Beowulf is up there with "Army of Darkness" in terms of pure enjoyment for those who like swords, monsters and cheese. Though lacking the grand scope, budget and self-aware humor of the aforementioned classic it makes up for those losses with a very fun post-apocalyptic setting, great action and an engaging visual style. Lambert gives a good performance as the titular tortured demon hunter and Rhona Mirtra is so stunning and sexy in this it's a wonder she has not become more well-known. All of the cast turn in excellent performances for a B movie honestly. None of them, with the possible exception of Layla Roberts, mug or wink at the camera. This all ties together with a fast and fun adrenaline pumping techno soundtrack ala Mortal Kombat, a movie which shares a producer with this one, to create a film enjoyable both on its own merits and as fodder for gentle riffing. Not to be missed by those who love B monster or action movies.

sarahconte If this movie saved its allowance for a year, did all of its homework, all of its chores, and went to bed on time every night. . .it might begin to qualify as a crappy movie. I haven't seen a film this bad. . .ever. I was initially enchanted by the opening of the film. I had to give it a little latitude for the opening FX, being as it was produced in a pre-WETA world, and I was willing to do that. I loved the whole scene with the mob and trying to execute the escapee, and I was thrilled by the initial design choices that were made (LOVED the over-sized straight razor as a decapitation device). But once Beowulf showed up, the dialogue sucked and the pace of the movie drew to a screeching halt. Stupid electric guitar music for all of the overly long action sequences started making me angry only a few minutes into the film and kept on throughout the rest of it. The only thing that I can say that was remotely interesting was the whole plot line with Grendal's mother and making her incredibly enticing as well as the source of "evil" in the world. But even that was poorly directed. I have no issue with sex on film. None at all. I don't even mind porn all that much, but for God's sake. . .I think it was her acting. Or maybe the crap dialogue. . .you know what? I didn't even like her much at all. Or anything else in the movie. Forget it, I don't want to review this any more. Save yourself the time, walk away from this one. Even on Netflix. Surely you've got more important things you could do with that hour and a half.

lastgoldrush What. Uh...This movie is so dissociative and messed up that I literally lost a bit of my sanity after it was over. I will never be the same person again. I'm trying to put my finger on what, exactly, is so completely insane about it... It's not just the hilarious techno music, or the "outside of time" medieval/Blade Runner/wild west/Highlander setting, or the weird CGI "Grendel" monster that looks like a man made out of animated sausages, or even the "Grendel's mother" monster, which looks like some Alabama table-dancer who grew claws and tentacles when she stayed in the tanning bed too long. All of those things are weird, but what's really the strangest thing in this movie is the acting. I simply can't explain. This script is obviously, hellishly silly, but the actors exude deadly seriousness through it all. Lambert is always weird, and usually kind of boring, but for this one he's gone into Dolph Lundgrin territory: I can't help but just start laughing every time he talks.I will give this movie some credit for being completely scatter-brained and crazy as opposed to conservative and boring. I'll always take a bizarre disaster of a film over an utterly mediocre one.Warning: if you are planning on watching Christopher Lambert as Beowulf, be prepared to spend several hours thereafter wandering the streets in some kind of nightmarish, hyperactive-catatonic daze. It's true. When I was done with my Beowulf spirit journey, I woke up in the middle of the Siberian tundra in a puddle of blood and milk. There was a dead wolf lying next to me, and I later found I had a handful of human teeth in my shirt pocket. My VHS copy of Beowulf was sitting on a hastily-constructed stone altar nearby, enshrined with candles and wilted flowers. The tape told me to walk. I rose and I walked.

cagekicker I've read a couple different versions of Beowulf (the lady at the used bookstore couldn't believe I was reading it because I wanted to as opposed to needing to for a class), and I love the story.When I saw that there was going to be a sci fi version of the story, I had high hopes. I thought to myself, "Self, this could be very cool." Sadly, I was very disappointed when I rented the movie and sat down to watch it.As the ending credits rolled by, my only comment was that all involved should commit a ritual suicide in order to atone for their sins. I'm not going to burden you with any further comment. Make your own decision as to whether or not you choose to watch this movie. I wash my hands, and take no responsibility for your actions.Good day.