The Girl on the Train is not weirdly great, or even good, though it doesn't really aim to be, positioning itself unabashedly as a knock-off Gone Girl.
Nothing is duller or more stifling, as a rule, than people who wish to make it perfectly plain how stifled they feel by their dull suburban existence.
If it came across your desk, you would probably give it a C-, along with feedback on how to improve on the next assignment.
The flashback structure isn't wholly satisfying, and the climax leaves an abundance of questions, so much so that the movie might have benefited either from taking the time to further flesh those revelations out or stripping them down.
Tate Taylor's new adaptation of The Girl on the Train takes the worst parts of the novel (excruciating dialogue, paper-thin plotting, ludicrous twists) and amplifies them.
The Girl on the Train plods along, playing like a lifeless wax museum version of a real thriller.
Blunt, who can be quite marvelous in movies, spends most of the film looking haggard and sozzled; the rest of the cast, with the exception of Allison Janney as a police investigator, is dull. The plot twists, such as they are, are garbled and predictable.
A filmmaker has a feel for this kind of storytelling or doesn't, and the people behind The Girl on the Train don't.
Whatever the locomotive power of the novel, this film adaptation only limps into the station.