Rent the original instead.
The 2011 version of Conan the Barbarian looks cheap and feels rushed. The few good elements are dwarfed by a generic, nonsensical plot and shoddy storytelling.
Shoddy acting, no real plot, and silly dialogue? You betcha!
Does it satisfy, this tale? In its own modest way, it does.
It ain't a pretty sight -- in fact, it's downright barbaric.
It's just another ham-handed adventure flick in eye-deadening, wallet-draining 3-D.
Momoa ... speaks in one of those trying-too-hard baritones heard in young jocks whose greatest fear is being called gay.
The very definition of the dumb summer flick, designed to squeeze a few last bucks out of the kids before school starts up again.
You can't underestimate the vitality of a movie where manly men give orders such as, "We will cast our rivals into oceans of blood."