Vashirdfel Simply A Masterpiece

PodBill Just what I expected

Glimmerubro It is not deep, but it is fun to watch. It does have a bit more of an edge to it than other similar films.

WillSushyMedia This movie was so-so. It had it's moments, but wasn't the greatest.

Edgar Allan Pooh . . . RED SONJA flick of note playing on the Big Screen during the past two or three decades. That's because this offering from the 1980s got it right the first time. While BATMAN, SUPERMAN, SPIDER-MAN, and THE INCREDIBLE HULK all suffered through countless "reboots," newcomer "Nielson's" rating began--and ended--on top. Her dazzling RED SONJA debut is the Major League Baseball equivalent of some American League flame-throwing rookie relief pitcher getting his first-ever MLB at-bat with the bases loaded but two outs in Game Seven's bottom of the 18th and earning a World Series ring by hammering a walk-off Grand Slam on a 3-2 pitch. Eight guys played Batman, but you'll NEVER see even half that many chicks portraying RED SONJA. Just as T.A. Edison could only electrocute "Topsy" the universally beloved Coney Island elephant once (1904--you can STILL see this pachyderm sizzle at the taxpayer-funded U.S. Library of Congress website), RED SONJA could only give birth to WONDER WOMAN & Company a single time.

connorbbalboa In 1985, discussions were being made regarding the making of a third Conan the Barbarian film, Conan the Conqueror. What we got instead was a spin-off movie with Conan's female counterpart, Red Sonja, and Arnold Schwarzenegger came back to play another character, Lord Kalidor, as the producers were unable to get the rights to Conan. What was meant to be a cameo turned out to be a major part, and what could have been at least a moderately exciting diversion became the worst film to be set in the Hyborian world.The films begins with Red Sonja (Brigitte Nielsen), whose family has been murdered and who has been raped by the soldiers of an evil queen (Sandahl Bergman), is given powers by a fairy who is never referred to again. Later, Lord Kalidor (Schwarzenegger) is on his way to a ceremony to destroy a device called the Talisman, when he discovers Sonja's sister mortally wounded. He takes her to Sonja, who decides to undergo a quest to destroy the Talisman herself, and eventually get revenge on the evil queen who wronged her.Let me start by saying that you could not get a worse actress to play Sonja than Brigitte Nielsen. This was her first film, and she was a mere 21 years old. When she speaks most of the time, she looks like she is trying to show off, and not play a character. In fact, pretty much all the actors pull of sub-par performances, even Schwarzenegger, who at times looks unexcited to be in the film. However, when his performance is at his best, he is the only actor who is watchable.Character is another problem. Sonja basically has the same backstory as Conan in his initial outing (except Conan was never raped by Thulsa Doom or his men), so it comes off as a repeat of what came before (I've never read the original stories with Sonja). Her whole arc is practically learning to accept having a man to be her lover because she needs one to be happy. Dear Lord. Bergman's evil queen wants to rule the world with the Talisman, but it's also established from the beginning that she has a special interest in Sonja that is never explained. Kalidor may as well be Conan and he develops a love for Sonja that is established improperly. To slightly diverge, Nielsen and Schwarzenegger actually flirted on-set and she fell in love with him. Schwarzenegger rejected her, but directed her to Sylvester Stallone, who became her husband for a couple of years, and her co-star in films like Rocky 4 and Cobra. There is also a little kid prince and his fat, adult servant, who serve no purpose other than comic relief. The kid is incredibly annoying and makes you wish that somebody would just kill him already, since he seems to have many enemies.Another problem is the lack of threat and tension. The queen is aware of Sonja's quest, but seems to only rely on the Talisman to create bad weather; she doesn't even send any men out to try to stop Sonja midway. There is also a serpent made of metal, but it is easy to defeat, and the most it does is take Kalidor for a ride. At times when Sonja is killing a couple of the minor villains in the film, it looks like they are giving up and lowering their defenses on purpose, because if they kept trying, the film would go on longer and it is required in the script that they die (one of the villains also has awful Fu-Manchu claws). Additionally, the special effects and matte paintings look pretty obvious, the fighting choreography is average, and the score by Ennio Morricone, while not bad, sounds more suited to one of the Spaghetti Westerns he worked on.Red Sonja is a waste of film and not something that anyone should be forced to watch. When comparing the two Conan films, the first is a fantasy masterpiece with a great director at the helm (John Milius), an awesome score, great action, a menacing villain in James Earl Jones's Thulsa Doom, and an endearing theme about the human spirit. The sequel, Conan the Destroyer, plays off like an average, kid- friendly B- movie version of the first with a less interesting quest, awkward monster fights, and one or two unnecessary side characters, but it still entertains to an extent and some actually enjoy it more than the original for having more fantasy elements. This film has no reason to exist and is even considered a waste of time by Schwarzenegger himself. He makes the film a little watchable, but that's it. Fun fact: Schwarzenegger has joked that when his kids misbehaved, he would make them watch Red Sonja ten times. Now that's effective punishment right there. Who needs grounding?

slightlymad22 Continuing my plan to watch every Arnie movie in order, I come to 1985's Red Sonja.Plot In A Paragraph: Red Sonja (Bridgette Neilson) a vengeful warrior sets out to retrieve a magic orb from an evil queen.Arnie would not have been free to star in The Terminator if producer Dino De Laurentis didn't release him from his 10 year Conan contract. He agreed, so when he asked Arnie for a favour, The Oak felt like he owed him. The favour was a cameo in Red Sonja, and that cameo ended up involving four weeks on set, being filmed with three cameras, and then his role being extended in the editing room, so he was one of the main characters. With his name first in the credits, you can only imagine what Arnie was thinking as he sat watching it for the first time. Bridgette Neilson gets an introducing credit in her first movie role.Di Laurentis seen Neilson on the cover of a magazine, flew her to Rome for a Screen Test, and with zero acting experience, he cast her as the lead. Along with Arnie he brought in other Conan regulars Sandahl Bergman, Pat Roach and director Richard Fleischer to give the movie a similar feel. It doesn't help anything!! Neilson can't act, it's poorly directed, dull, boring, uninspired, has poor effects, awful cheap sets. is unintentionally funny and the acting is bad, bad, bad (Arnie included) I would rather go see a firework display on a very rainy night, than ever watch this again. Bizarrely it is bloodier the Conan The Destroyer, yet it features an annoying child actor, with a bumbling side kick. Ennino Morricone's score is fun in a campy way. And I think that may be the only positive I can find. In his autobiography Total Recall, Arnie talks about his fling with Neilson, and how once he seen the promotional poster for Red Sonja (with his image having more than twice as much space as the title characters) he felt tricked by Dino, and that he was using Arnie's image and popularity to sell his movie. So he refused to do any promotional work for the movie. Red Sonja tanked badly at the Box Office, grossing only $6 million at the domestic Box Office and didn't feature in the Top 100 Highest Grossing Movies Of The Year. That favour could have harmed his career, but by the time Red Sonja sank without a trace, Arnie had already moved on Commando.

Phil Hubbs The third film in the Conan trilogy...well it pretty much was wasn't it. This film is directed by Richard Fleischer who also directed 'Conan the Destroyer', the same studio, Dino De Laurentiis Company, made all three films, Sandahl Bergman was in this film and 'Conan the Barbarian' and of course Arnie starred in all three.I mean lets be honest here, Arnie plays Lord Kalidor, the character is virtually a Conan clone, I dunno why they didn't just make him Conan and be done with it. I believe Sonja comes from the Conan universe originally (I may be wrong) so why not? I'm guessing there may have been copyright issues somewhere.So its the same story again for this fantasy adventure, need I describe the plot? A small band of goodies up against an evil baddie leader and all her baddie warriors who are all holed up in an intimidating fortress. Arnie rides around in his rather unattractive red sparkly jumpsuit (changes to a black number out of the blue half way through) whilst Nielsen sports a long red mullet cut, but she's still cute.This is suppose to be the weakest of the Arnie broadsword adventures but personally I don't see it. Its no worse than the other two and gives you just as much visual sorcery. In fact there's more fantasy stuff going on here than 'CtB', giant pet spiders, giant skeleton bridges, a metallic sea monster thingy and a silly Flash Gordon style baddie wizard. This film boarders more on other films such as 'Krull' and a bit of 'Willow' in my opinion.Reasonable amounts of blood and limb chopping but not overkill. Everything looks a bit tacky later on in the film but again no worse than the other two films. Unfortunately there is an annoying kid in this film, kinda like Data from 'The Goonies' or Short Round from 'Temple of Doom' (same kid actor there), tends to give the film a more slapstick approach at times, 'Conan the Barbarian' was always the most grown up of the three.At this point I reckon Arnie was possibly getting worried he may end up typecast as a barbarian meathead in fantasy films. I can see why this was his last as all three of these films are very similar and not overly wonderful frankly. Still the musical score was always in good hands with Morricone at the helm, how did they manage that? As a kid I loved these films, nowadays the rose tinted shades can't quite save them, amusing and naff, oh and the baddie Queen is a lesbian. Oh yeah, the whole story is down to Sonja simply rejecting her advances at the start, fancy that.5/10