Grimerlana
Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike
GrimPrecise
I'll tell you why so serious
Mandeep Tyson
The acting in this movie is really good.
Michael_Elliott
Boa (2001)* 1/2 (out of 4) Yet another "Creature Feature" with a silly creature and even sillier characters. This time out the government is in the Antarctic where they are building a new Alcatraz, which is going to hold the world's worst criminals. A notorious terrorist is one of the first six in the prison but it's still under construction when they accidentally dig to deep. Unfortunately for them it unleashes an eighty-foot snake that likes to eat humans. Husband and wife scientists (Dean Cain, Elizabeth Lackey) are called in with a SWAT team to take the beast out. Have you ever been watching a movie and fall asleep only to wake up what you think is a few minutes later and you look back at the TV and you're completely lost because you don't realize that you were actually sleeping a little over two hours and are now in a different movie? I had that feeling watching this movie (also known as NEW ALCATRAZ) because the thing skipped around way too much and had too many characters coming and going. At first we're with those building the prison. We then jump to the terrorist who ends up getting captured. We then jump to the scientist and their marital issues. When then jump to the snake a little bit. When then go back to a prison escape. When then forget the first few story lines and skip to something else. Finally, we get back to the snake but by now we're into the movie a good hour and wishing we could fall asleep. This is yet another horror movie with a bad CGI monster that appears funnier than it is scary. I'm sorry but when you see this large, fake snake you just can't take it too serious and in the end you'll be laughing at it more than anything. Snakes really give me the creeps so it's not good when someone like me isn't bothered by the creature. The characters really aren't any more interesting as they're the stereotypes you'd expect to see in something like this and it doesn't help that Cain is playing a scientist. The death scenes are all extremely weak and poor looking and those wanting the red stuff are going to be disappointed as well. BOA, or whatever title you want to call it, is pretty weak from start to finish so you might as well watch something else (but not PYTHON, which is even worse).
jennieb145
I watched this movie a few nights ago for the first time. I was astounded at the low production values, the poorly written script, the extremely inept CGI, and the incredibly bad acting of the ensemble.The plot is something like this: A New Alcatraz is built at the North Pole or the South Pole, in any case, where someone cannot easily escape. Retirement plans for the prison staff must be hell and what happens if you get fired? Anyway, back to the supposed storyline -- this new state of the art prison is supposed to house the worst of the worst (criminals and politicians, maybe an insurance agent or two, certainly the former execs from Enron). The construction crew hit a snag, i.e. some nitrogen filled chamber wherein lies a 100 ft snake that has managed to survive for 10 billion years without eating. I figure it must have swallowed a T-Rex and had been digesting it for a bit before it decided to come out and have a little nighttime snack. OSHA must have had a fit when they learned about the construction crew going against safety guidelines. Obviously the writers know absolutely NOTHING about snakes because this one zips here there and everywhere faster than my dog eats McDonald french fries. Large snakes are quite slow, watch Animal Planet and you'll know what I mean. And how come this snake had FANGS IN THE FRONT OF HIS MOUTH? And why does he growl? And how can he rip people in two, toss the individual parts into the air and then catch it? I thought boas constricted their dinner and then swallowed it. At least that's what Animal Planet is leading me to believe.Anyway, Dean Cain and his wife have quit their posts as teachers at a university and are digging around at an archealogical site in the middle of a desert. Maybe they were looking for more frozen snakes in the desert? They are having a huge fight about having children in their future - Dean wants them, the wife doesn't. In the midst of this loving relationship, the military comes out and hints around at something BIG (it's always BIG) and off they go, no questions asked. They end up at this prison wherein they find out about the SNAKE. And of course only two people have the secret code to get in or out of the prison. The Major who leads the military operation and the Warden. Guess who dies? For some reason, the prisoners do not seem unduly concerned with being eaten by this HUGE snake. This is a snake that eats guards at an alarming rate. They must be extra tasty. The prisoners are pretty happy considering their predicament. And of course NO ONE listens to reason so everyone gets eaten.Then Dean's wife gets taken by the snake and I was really hoping she'd be eaten but unfortunately she wasn't. He didn't appear upset, probably because she refused to have his baby, and was thinking of the new wife he'd get as soon as he left this place. Come to think of it, all of the actors appeared to be thinking of the new wife Dean Cain was going to get since his current wife was taken by the snake. And why didn't the snake eat her? Too bitchy? Maybe it's because she wasn't wearing a uniform. I think the snake has something for people in uniforms.Could someone explain to me why in every single Sci Fi channel movie only two people ever survive? Can't we have more than two -- like THREE or more?Someone smarter than the lead characters and more likable? It'd be a change.All in all, it's an interestingly bad movie to watch. Not as horrible as Raptor Island, this one just had lots of holes. Like when the snake ate the co-pilot in the plane as it was airborne and no one got sucked out of the open end of the plane except the only sympathetic character. And that woman still survived. Do you think she and Dean Cain's character had any babies? Do you think that maybe the snake impregnated her while she was gone and she's going to give birth to a whole new breed of giant guard-eating snakes?And does this mean we won't get to send any more Enron execs to the New Alcatraz?
Yaroslav Zaitsev (yarik83)
I am not going to elaborate on what the special effects of the movie are but i would like to say that unlike anaconda the concept of a giant snake is not working here.A boa constrictor, a member of voa family grows up to 33ft, sometimes longer. It is a cold blooded reptile that needs the warmth of the south to survive. it is a camouflaged species and usually same color pattern is distributed throughout the body. A boa does not have 2 front fangs, as shown in the movie. A boa does constrict and uses it's mouth to bite and then coils on the victim. it is not capable of standing tall and making growling sounds (like in movie)the bottom line is that even when species is hungry it kills one victim in a matter of up to 30 minutes. it then swallows the victim in a period of up to 1 hour. finally if it feels threatened it regurgitates the victim and is helpless while doing that.ahh if only the movie was a bit more realistic....
Neonsamurai
If I was going to build a maximum-security prison I'd build it in Slough, that way the convicts would be safer inside the jail and not try to escape.But does the American government ever listen to me? No they don't and shame on them! I've emailed George Bush at least a dozen times with my plans for a coal powered time machine and get NO response. If you're reading this George, when I've got it working I'm going back in time and punching a few extra holes in Al Gores cards! I know he'd listen!But I digress. Anyway you shouldn't build a maximum-security prison in Antarctica because everybody knows there are snakes trapped under the ice there that are 100ft long. But the American government ignores common sense and does it anyway. When will they learn? I mean I saw the plan that they came up with in Deep Impact to stop the comet (which was laughable) and their attempt to capture the Predator in Predator 2 was weak at best, so who comes up with these ideas?Anyway things go wrong, which I could have told them was going to happen, and a giant snake (surprise, surprise) starts eating people. Luckily Dean Cain shows up. At this point I was pretty sure that everyone was doomed, but plucky Dean and his wife manage to outsmart the snake and save everybody. Well, maybe not everybody. Actually it's just themselves, but the other people were criminals so they deserved death. So my embiggened marking systems records Boa (as it is called in the UK) as having achieved 7 Gi-ants (which is a combination of two words giant and ants. Gi-ants. Clever eh?) which is a universally acknowledged as being good. The name is accurate and there are some reasonable costumes.
